In Close Proximity...

I have had many reports that as a baby and a young child, I was enamored with being clothes-less. As my mom tells it, I would be outside playing in my diaper, and without much thought, I would drop diaper and be streaking around naked. It just felt like the right thing to do, I guess.

I can't remember much of elementary school, but as a middle schooler I began to incredibly modest due to my larger-than-average-chest and just the horrible experience of being an adolescent girl. I don't think it was until I was a camp counselor while in college that I began to relax about being seen naked(I think it was the forced communal living). Finally, I realized that no one really cared what I looked like naked, because I didn't really care what they looked like naked. It was good to relax about it.

I started thinking about all of this the other day when I went to try on my bridal gown. In mid-discussion about my bodice, the seamstress plunged her hand down the front of my dress- without notification, nor care. (Now, first of all it is a bad sign that there is even enough room in the bodice for this sort of activity... But that is another issue) Regardless, I was shocked by her willingness to disregard social norms, as I was shocked by my own very modest reaction to the ordeal.

Is that what getting older means? Letting go of our previously less inhibited beliefs and ideals? If so, I am already recognizing it in myself. I really don't like incidental contact from strangers. I feel funny about the woman at work that doesn't regard normal rules of personal space when talking to me. I am not as much a "hugger with reckless abandon" anymore... I think I have even become less outgoing in my older age.

So, as I turn 29 this month, I think I am going to focus on getting out of that comfort zone I have developed lately. I still won't offer strangers a grope, but I will try to offer more hugs and warmth and see if I can break out of my 'shell'.