Precious Commodities

There is nothing like a year of wedding planning to really make you think about money and consumer culture in the United States. In my view, the wedding industry is out of control. These companies have actually been able to shape the American wedding culture to make this family event more lucrative for themselves. Isn't it amazing that Brides take their cues of what 'ought' to be done, or the 'preferred' way of doing things from the same people that sell them the stuff? It reminds me that diamond wedding rings are a manufactured tradition in the United States by the deBeers diamond company, along with the 'three months salary' expectation.

Just spend an afternoon listening to radio stations in this city and you will understand (if you don't already). The guilt factor is high in all of the jewelry store ads targeted towards young men who are 'thinking of asking the girl of his dreams to marry him'. My personal favorite goes something like this, "Guys, you think the most important person's opinion of the diamond you buy is your fiancee? Don't forget about all of her friends and family and how they would admire a beautiful engagement ring [with a big-ass diamond]." I can just about hear guys shuddering when they think of the pressure of buying this diamond, with the money they don't have, for a girl with certain expectations because of what 'everyone else will think'. How has this private, special event become another way to exploit money out of Americans?

Anyways, I am ranting because I spent the weekend up North for my wedding shower. All this energy and money focused on me. I felt really horribly guilty and still do. I watched (and helped) my mom frantically clean, cook, and prepare all for this two hour stint of women coming over to wish me well and give me gifts for my wedding. While I was sitting in a veil my sister had installed, in front of everyone, opening gifts, a part of me felt like crying. First, I felt really embarrassed being the center of attention. Second, I felt that everyone was worried their gift wasn't right for the theme, or not 'enough', or stupid. I wanted to stop and tell everyone "I love you all. Thank you for coming. The gift doesn't matter. They money you spent on me is hard earned money. Keep it. You being here is more important to me. Thank you for your blessing and your support of my marriage. Your time and care is your greatest gift to me."

In the end, I had a good time at my shower. My gratitude to my mom, stolen bike, jff, bbarrell, and everyone that gave up their time to come is overwhelming. I just hope they understand this. I know I will struggle with the same thing at my wedding. How do you thank people enough so that they know that you understand their sacrifice and effort? How do you ever pay some people back in love and consideration?