The Mommy Network

At the very beginning of my maternity leave, I confessed to my mom who was helping us out with Benjamin, "Mom, I don't know if I am going to be able to stay home for the whole summer..." I was nervous about taking care of Benji all day everyday by myself, especially while during the first week it took three adults to keep this house going (and I was still exhausted and overwhelmed!). I felt a little worried about being lonely or feeling isolated in my house daily with my little bundle of joy (and constant need).

Today, Benjamin is six weeks old. Time has flown. Now, instead of worrying about staying home, I worry about how to balance it all when I go back to work. I think of all the things that I could be doing during the day instead of being at work (don't get me wrong- overall, I do want to go back, I just want it all- work and time with B everyday). In the time since I worried about being isolated at home, I have discovered what probably a lot of people already know about: The Mommy Network.

This is not a website, no it is not a phone tree, or a twelve step program. It is the unofficial, just under the radar, collection of activities, things, and people that function to be a stay at home mom's social network. Don't get me wrong, everyone's is different, and you do have to make some efforts at finding it, but the shocker is that it is there for almost everyone that looks. I didn't think I would have one, or access to one, and I was very wrong. With very little effort, I now have many things, friends, and activities I wish I could continue doing come this fall when I will back at work full time. Here are some of my recent discoveries:

• Mom and Baby Yoga Bonding Class: A new yoga studio opened up a few blocks north of my house and this is a class that is being offered. Benji and I went to our first session yesterday. Not only did I learn a lot of different ways to massage and soothe him, but I learned a lot of poses that he and I can do together that will help me get back in shape. The best part? Other mothers and babies to meet, an instructor who is also a mom and a doula and is very connected to the natural community, all of this in my own neighborhood. Most importantly, Benji loved it. He was very calm during and afterwards.
  
• Walking Dates: My friends CS and I started walking around our respective lakes together last week and it is really great. Last week we got to talk and stroll around my lake and on the way home, we ran into our other friend heading out to the park with her 1 year old. We stood on the corner of my street- a gaggle of strollers and boy babies, catching up, soaking up advice (me), arranging to share hand me down clothes and gear. Then a few minutes later another mother on the block came down to talk professional opportunities with CS and join in... And I thought I didn't really have that many friends with kids... Several friends have disclosed that they are expecting their second!(yikes!) 
•  Mom and Baby Class: This is a discussion group offered through the hospital where I delivered and it is for mothers of new babies. It is designed for new moms to share discoveries and more importantly to ask questions of each other and the facilitator. There are a lot of things that are personal discoveries about your own child, but there are also many things that are helpful to hear about what other solutions people have found. It is nice also to hear that other moms feel generally as clueless as I do at times.
  
• Coffee Shop Dates: There is a coffee shop a few miles from my house that has a really cool play area for young kids. Because of this, moms flock to grab a cup and meet other moms and kids. I met another friend who is a mom for coffee here the other day. It was really fun to be able to watch her young one, feed Benji, and be out with the predominantly mom crowd all while we chatted and drank. It felt so fun to be able to go out to a place that was very kid (and mom) friendly.

I like that in the last few weeks of being at home my days have changed quite a bit. I am much more able to get out (by myself) with Benji and we now have a lot going on. I feel slightly guilty at times that he is napping in the car or in the Bjorn as we are out and about, but in the end, I think what they say is true: the secret to happy babies and kids is happy parents.  It is fun to feel like there is more to my life again than feeding a baby all day long, but also not going back to work yet.