The Big Questions...How Do You Do It?

Everybody does it...but how?

How do you make huge life decisions when they are staring you in the face? How do you choose when you find yourself at a fork in the road? I think everyone has a style, a way in which they choose a path that they think is best.

I can't necessarily identify mine, although I know it includes the following:

• I talk to people I trust about it. These are people who I feel a) know me down to the bone, or b) have a similar lifestyle or life philosophy and/or c) demonstrate thoughtfulness and wisdom in their own lives and decisions. They are often risk takers, but in a good way.
  
• What piece of clarity do they shed on the question? What nugget can I take away from the conversation?
  

• I keep the question in the back of my head and consider it at many points during the day.
• Last night as I was lying in bed an impact of one of the paths that I hadn't thought about hit me. Are there creative solutions to this consequence? Is there an alternative?
  
• Right when I wake up I usually have a gut feeling- I am positive I mull these things over in dreams and thoughts while I sleep.
• I think about how the choices would impact my daily life: would I be more happy or less happy and in what ways?

• If I am not careful, and even sometimes when I try my best not to, I fret about these things. It may look like a win-win situation from the outside and I guess in the big picture both are incredible opportunities and new exciting changes, but while I am actually making the decision, I feel almost upset sometimes. I get anxious about making the wrong decision, and continually have to remind myself there is no "wrong" decision, just a path and forward motion.

• Because of all of the above, I try to take time off from the weight of it all. Alternative realities are a relief. I like movies and books a lot because they provide a break. I like listening to other people and what they are thinking about, tackling and why. It puts things in perspective. I try to take a break by remaining in the moment of sitting outside, of listening to music, and playing with the cats. Church can also be a place to bring heaviness and leave with a reminder of what is most important.

• Finally, I remind myself of my past decisions: some great, some not as great, but all had a lot of good in them. For instance, although I wonder if my decision to switch schools two years ago was really the best, I cannot deny all the wonderful and incredibly valuable things I learned in making this change. I think of all the possibilities and other paths that were opened up and I remind myself that any decision has the same impact. Some bad, but often undeniable, unfathomable good. Any I probably don't look like a bumbling idiot on the outside either.
  

When it really comes down to it, this discussion is about faith. And not necessarily in the church way, but in the larger way. Do you belief in yourself, your abilities, your support, and the good of the future? Is optimism your guide?

I think of recent friends who I have watched make transitions and brave changes. I admire many of them for their grace, their faith, and their honesty in making the best decision they can. More than anything, I appreciate the risks they are willing to take and the company they provide in doing so.