Yikes! and then a thought about the park...

This was the title of an email I got from one of my girlfriends, today. Maybe I have been reading too much academic nonsense lately (check), or maybe I am just starved for friend conversations while working (check), but I also just loved something about these paragraphs describing "mom life" (I edited out the yikes! part - it wasn't related):

...we biked to the H.L. park today. They have three different sized playgrounds all together and a great wading pool. It is of course right next to the small beach there. It is great. I wanted to tell you that so many moms go there on their own and just end up talking while pushing kids on the swings, spotting them as they go running across a bridge or flying down the slide, or of course, as we try to tell our kids how great sharing is as they steal each others pool toys. I always go there on my own and inevitably get into 3 or 4 conversations with other moms.

With kids really close to ***'s age we have actually exchanged numbers. The conversation always starts with "so how old is your little one?" ... then "and whats his name?"... then, of course, you have to say "what a great name." Then it goes on. It is like a whole new culture you enter into at the park, crazy, but also encouraging. The other place has been the R.V. Coffee Shop... I have met a couple moms there and then actually ran into them at the park, too. **** makes me meet people, she is a social butterfly. She has absolutely no problem going up to a kid and pointing to his nose and saying "noe." When she pokes him into the eye to say "eye" then we almost always get into a good conversation over a laugh. The parks and coffee shops have definitely kept my sanity.

It is the deeper conversations about the transition into parenthood, the identity change and balancing my needs with ****'s that I hunger for at times. You definitely cannot just create this with just anyone either. I have tried, realized that it is not easy, not everyone loves to talk about this stuff. And those who want to talk end up being so different from me that I get frustrated anyway, thinking to myself "should I think like that? why doesn't anyone approach it like me? or why do I feel like a bad mom after talking to you...?"

You know, I am dying for the day to talk to you about motherhood. (Not, that I don't already talk to you about it.)

I love how real she keeps it-- I wonder is that part of being a mom? Saying it like it is, not thinking so much about what she says, being so right on because of that?

Although, I would say she has always been this way. There are very few people I know that I think are comfortable with being truthful, with just putting something out there, and with you doing the same back. I think this makes for great friends because they are the people that have to think a lot less with. There is not a lot of wondering what they are really thinking, if you can really trust them, or if the fact they are so wrapped up in themselves they can't really listen to you.

It is reassuring to me that I have friends like this, that send me emails like this, that talk about things like the park and motherhood and yikes!. It makes me less scared to be a mom, happy to be a friend, and more excited to open my email.