H is for High School
When I was in high school my group of friends was a mixed gender group of about 15 kids. We hung out together constantly: playing sports, bonfires on the beach, nighttime tag, and hanging out at different peoples' houses. There wasn't much to do where we grew up, but it didn't matter because we made it up.
After high school, we stayed in touch to different degrees. By then there had been some breaks in the "group", though. Some hook ups that made things uncomfortable, some break ups, some strained friendships after mishaps, I had dated someone outside of the group and had not been in attendance for a while, DocMI started dating Erin's infatuation right after they broke up and things had never healed...(some of these things dictated the way friendships still happen now, amazingly).
Some people in the group stayed more or less connected across the span of time. Some were close geographically and personally in college, there was always the bar nights when we were home from college, Sarah and Todd dated and lived together, DocMI and I lived together, Sarah and Jenny lived together and so on.
After college, there was a rash of weddings (and bike trips, but that is a completely different story). C and S had dated through high school and were the first ones to get married, then J who had met D (also from home) the first day of college, and then there was Erin's wedding and Sarah's wedding. At each event we would see the group- some of the guys acting like they were still in high school, the girls maintaining much more connection. For awhile people were spread across the country.
After people really settled down- they bought houses and became the lawyers (1), doctors (3), teachers (2), business people (3), writers/editors (1), librarians (1), and pilots (1) they had trained to become. Most recently, as in the last three years, it has been about babies. Among the women, there are currently 3 toddlers, 2 sets of infant twins, and another set of twins on the way. (Yeah, I know: shocking!)
Yesterday, I went to the baby shower for the twins on the way (and of course mom). It was fun to see old friends, meet offspring, hold babies, catch up on the happenings. Right now it is new, bigger houses and purchases of mini-vans, and trying to survive with a small child and a set of babies. C, J, E, and S have changed little overall, although E now has a body exactly like her mom's and is much more mellow. I would say motherhood is her best stage- she remains funny, but now not at the expense of others so much.
As I was driving home, I kept thinking about how impressive it is that some of our group of friends from high school have remained very close friends. At times, I am nostalgic and wish that I was as close to them as I was, but then I realize that I have never been at the same life stage as many of them. When they were living here fresh out of college, I was still finishing my degree several hundred miles away, when I moved here, they were all living in other places, while I was dating and exploring they were getting married, and now while I am still having a hard time thinking about not playing as many sports and enjoying just being with husband, they are having kids-- many. I can also imagine that I finally have my first child, they will be discussing preschools and elementary schools, ways to reinvigorate their marriages, and moving to the suburbs. And I am in no rush.
Although, I loved seeing the high school girls, it was a relief to return to my married-without-kids life last night (and also to my post high school realm). It is good to have friends that are in a different stage from you so that you can be prepared by what you see them tackling before you get there, but also so that you can also enjoy the stage you are currently at with the friends you currently are close to.
After high school, we stayed in touch to different degrees. By then there had been some breaks in the "group", though. Some hook ups that made things uncomfortable, some break ups, some strained friendships after mishaps, I had dated someone outside of the group and had not been in attendance for a while, DocMI started dating Erin's infatuation right after they broke up and things had never healed...(some of these things dictated the way friendships still happen now, amazingly).
Some people in the group stayed more or less connected across the span of time. Some were close geographically and personally in college, there was always the bar nights when we were home from college, Sarah and Todd dated and lived together, DocMI and I lived together, Sarah and Jenny lived together and so on.
After college, there was a rash of weddings (and bike trips, but that is a completely different story). C and S had dated through high school and were the first ones to get married, then J who had met D (also from home) the first day of college, and then there was Erin's wedding and Sarah's wedding. At each event we would see the group- some of the guys acting like they were still in high school, the girls maintaining much more connection. For awhile people were spread across the country.
After people really settled down- they bought houses and became the lawyers (1), doctors (3), teachers (2), business people (3), writers/editors (1), librarians (1), and pilots (1) they had trained to become. Most recently, as in the last three years, it has been about babies. Among the women, there are currently 3 toddlers, 2 sets of infant twins, and another set of twins on the way. (Yeah, I know: shocking!)
Yesterday, I went to the baby shower for the twins on the way (and of course mom). It was fun to see old friends, meet offspring, hold babies, catch up on the happenings. Right now it is new, bigger houses and purchases of mini-vans, and trying to survive with a small child and a set of babies. C, J, E, and S have changed little overall, although E now has a body exactly like her mom's and is much more mellow. I would say motherhood is her best stage- she remains funny, but now not at the expense of others so much.
As I was driving home, I kept thinking about how impressive it is that some of our group of friends from high school have remained very close friends. At times, I am nostalgic and wish that I was as close to them as I was, but then I realize that I have never been at the same life stage as many of them. When they were living here fresh out of college, I was still finishing my degree several hundred miles away, when I moved here, they were all living in other places, while I was dating and exploring they were getting married, and now while I am still having a hard time thinking about not playing as many sports and enjoying just being with husband, they are having kids-- many. I can also imagine that I finally have my first child, they will be discussing preschools and elementary schools, ways to reinvigorate their marriages, and moving to the suburbs. And I am in no rush.
Although, I loved seeing the high school girls, it was a relief to return to my married-without-kids life last night (and also to my post high school realm). It is good to have friends that are in a different stage from you so that you can be prepared by what you see them tackling before you get there, but also so that you can also enjoy the stage you are currently at with the friends you currently are close to.
posted by KLOU | 7:33 AM
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