Find me a rock, I have a few things to say...
I almost didn't remember how to log in just now, because it has been so long since I have blogged. I think there has been almost too much going on and too much that I have been thinking about to blog on any one thing. Just for the sake of an update, here are some randoms....
Announcing the arrival of the long-awaited, baby T. I visited her today and she is tiny, beautiful, and amazing. I usually don't say that about babies. I am not in the stage of my life where I want one, I do not coo whenever I see a small human. However, maybe it is because I care so much about her Mom that it finally hit me about how amazing it is when you have a baby for the first time. It is a complete shift in what is important to you. I sat there with her in my arms and looked at her white-blond, barely visible, eyebrows and felt like I got a glimpse of what it must feel like to become a parent for the first time. My heart goes out to her parents who are exhausted, thrilled, and just plain emotionally worn out right now. It is a scary thing to worry about doing everything right for the most important thing in your life all of a sudden...
The Wedding is over. It was wonderful, so much fun, so many things happened that I will often think back about and play over in my mind. If I were to choose the emotion that described the way that day felt it would be either love or happiness. Now that it is over, though, I am so relieved. I was almost afraid to admit this right after the wedding, but I am now freely admitting it. I am just excited to be married, I am glad all the hoopla is over. It is nice to just to be in the right now instead of constantly planning for something in the future. Amen.
Changing my name has become my least favorite thing lately. I don't know how to sign my new name, the bureaucracy is slow and ridiculous (a topic for a forth-coming post), and it is just pure and simple boring work.
I love that there is month of summer left. A trip to cabin with fun friends! A trip to the Wilderness Area where wild animals roam free (and so do people with canoes on their shoulders...)! A trip to California right before school starts! And Grad school in the fall! Yippee!
A quote I have been thinking a lot about lately, "Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it , whoever you are, you need one." -Jane Howard
Sometimes I get exhausted with people who are gamers and wild carders (a.k.a.- you never know what you are going to get). I just want real, reliable, solid, honest. Wild carders are sometimes too disappointing. When you need realness, they can be heartbreaking. Gamers are most the time never real, unless it benefits them in some way. You have to think too hard about what game board you are stuck on at the moment and why. I don't want to be caressed. I want solidness. Give me an answer. Let me be myself. Be yourself. Don't over analyze or have to decide ahead of time what your objective is. Communicate. Be honest. Dare to put yourself out there. I think in the end I feel lonely around people I feel aren't telling me the truth, or that I have to think too hard about having a conversation with. Amen for the friends (and husband) in my life that are the rocks when I am looking for a place to sit for a moment and digest, instead of the bogs where I just sink into a bunch of water and muck if I stay for too long.
In the end real conversations- whatever they may be about (I am not picky), energize me. Puzzles in peoples words or actions (or the two not matching up) make me crazy. I have been thinking about another quote, I recently read:
"I am speaking now of the highest duty we owe our friends, the noblest, the most sacred- that of keeping their own nobleness, goodness, pure and incorrupt... If we let our friend become cold and selfish and exacting without remonstrance, we are no true lover, no true friend."
- Harriet Beecher Stowe
That quote reminds me of something else. The other night when I couldn't sleep, I got up and watched "Pride and Prejudice" all the way through- (I had never seen it before). It was fun. I was up into the wee hours of the morning, doing nothing of importance. I think I liked the movie, because I couldn't turn it off. I didn't like the characters they had cast for Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, but I still liked the movie. I really like Jane Austen and the characters she creates. As cliche as that is, it is honest. I came to realize this a little more after I read the book, "Jane Austen's Book Club" this spring.
I also realized after watching the movie, that although I thought I had read "P&P" in high school, I was mixing it up with "Wuthering Heights" and never have read it. Now I am almost afraid to crack the book in fear I will no longer like the movie as much.
One final though is that as husband and I go into the fall, with me working part time in order to go to grad school, money will be a little tighter. I am currently in the mode of deciding which of my unnecessary spending habits to curb. Splurging on moderately expensive haircuts, new shoes, Starbucks treats, eating out on the weekends... When I think of it that way, I realize how many ways I could cut down, and how lucky I really am to not have to most of the time.
At the risk of being really annoying and way too long winded, I have to end with a favorite line of mine from a Martin Sexton song, "I've got a little faith on the table, found a little hope from the jar, there's got to be sanity 'round here somewhere and just shake it up, shake it up. A simple message, simple virtues three, but its not as easy as it looks on TV- mix this up with a little sadness and you will find peace-joy!"
Announcing the arrival of the long-awaited, baby T. I visited her today and she is tiny, beautiful, and amazing. I usually don't say that about babies. I am not in the stage of my life where I want one, I do not coo whenever I see a small human. However, maybe it is because I care so much about her Mom that it finally hit me about how amazing it is when you have a baby for the first time. It is a complete shift in what is important to you. I sat there with her in my arms and looked at her white-blond, barely visible, eyebrows and felt like I got a glimpse of what it must feel like to become a parent for the first time. My heart goes out to her parents who are exhausted, thrilled, and just plain emotionally worn out right now. It is a scary thing to worry about doing everything right for the most important thing in your life all of a sudden...
The Wedding is over. It was wonderful, so much fun, so many things happened that I will often think back about and play over in my mind. If I were to choose the emotion that described the way that day felt it would be either love or happiness. Now that it is over, though, I am so relieved. I was almost afraid to admit this right after the wedding, but I am now freely admitting it. I am just excited to be married, I am glad all the hoopla is over. It is nice to just to be in the right now instead of constantly planning for something in the future. Amen.
Changing my name has become my least favorite thing lately. I don't know how to sign my new name, the bureaucracy is slow and ridiculous (a topic for a forth-coming post), and it is just pure and simple boring work.
I love that there is month of summer left. A trip to cabin with fun friends! A trip to the Wilderness Area where wild animals roam free (and so do people with canoes on their shoulders...)! A trip to California right before school starts! And Grad school in the fall! Yippee!
A quote I have been thinking a lot about lately, "Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it , whoever you are, you need one." -Jane Howard
Sometimes I get exhausted with people who are gamers and wild carders (a.k.a.- you never know what you are going to get). I just want real, reliable, solid, honest. Wild carders are sometimes too disappointing. When you need realness, they can be heartbreaking. Gamers are most the time never real, unless it benefits them in some way. You have to think too hard about what game board you are stuck on at the moment and why. I don't want to be caressed. I want solidness. Give me an answer. Let me be myself. Be yourself. Don't over analyze or have to decide ahead of time what your objective is. Communicate. Be honest. Dare to put yourself out there. I think in the end I feel lonely around people I feel aren't telling me the truth, or that I have to think too hard about having a conversation with. Amen for the friends (and husband) in my life that are the rocks when I am looking for a place to sit for a moment and digest, instead of the bogs where I just sink into a bunch of water and muck if I stay for too long.
In the end real conversations- whatever they may be about (I am not picky), energize me. Puzzles in peoples words or actions (or the two not matching up) make me crazy. I have been thinking about another quote, I recently read:
"I am speaking now of the highest duty we owe our friends, the noblest, the most sacred- that of keeping their own nobleness, goodness, pure and incorrupt... If we let our friend become cold and selfish and exacting without remonstrance, we are no true lover, no true friend."
- Harriet Beecher Stowe
That quote reminds me of something else. The other night when I couldn't sleep, I got up and watched "Pride and Prejudice" all the way through- (I had never seen it before). It was fun. I was up into the wee hours of the morning, doing nothing of importance. I think I liked the movie, because I couldn't turn it off. I didn't like the characters they had cast for Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, but I still liked the movie. I really like Jane Austen and the characters she creates. As cliche as that is, it is honest. I came to realize this a little more after I read the book, "Jane Austen's Book Club" this spring.
I also realized after watching the movie, that although I thought I had read "P&P" in high school, I was mixing it up with "Wuthering Heights" and never have read it. Now I am almost afraid to crack the book in fear I will no longer like the movie as much.
One final though is that as husband and I go into the fall, with me working part time in order to go to grad school, money will be a little tighter. I am currently in the mode of deciding which of my unnecessary spending habits to curb. Splurging on moderately expensive haircuts, new shoes, Starbucks treats, eating out on the weekends... When I think of it that way, I realize how many ways I could cut down, and how lucky I really am to not have to most of the time.
At the risk of being really annoying and way too long winded, I have to end with a favorite line of mine from a Martin Sexton song, "I've got a little faith on the table, found a little hope from the jar, there's got to be sanity 'round here somewhere and just shake it up, shake it up. A simple message, simple virtues three, but its not as easy as it looks on TV- mix this up with a little sadness and you will find peace-joy!"
posted by KLOU | 10:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home