Dear Lady-in-the-Grocery-Store-Line: A Public Letter
Dear Lady-in-the-Grocery-Store-Line,
While we stood behind you in the check out line, you raised no immediate red flags. You looked like you were functioning just fine in the 21st century. Looking back, maybe it should have been the enormous quantity of pre-packaged meals that should have tipped me off, maybe it was the slightly hair-brained expression on your face... Either way, though, I was not prepared for the fact that really, under the disguise of a modern woman with normal looking clothes that you were an old lady who lives with 84 cats, smells like it, and gets uppity when anyone suggests you move more quickly.
As you were checking out and packing your groceries, I thought nothing of it. That was, until the check-out woman told you your total. You slowly walked back to the pay station and JUST THEN seemed to start thinking about your method of payment ("Oh, I have to pay for these meals in a box? Who knew."). All the while I was at the end of the conveyor belt waiting for MY groceries. I watched you thinking, "there is no WAY she is going for her checkbook," but OH YOU WERE... As you start writing out the check, I could see that the early thirty-something brown hair was allowing the massive stock of gray hair underneath peek through. Then you decided to take it one step further... You set down your check book and browsed through your coupon book like you might have forgotten that one coupon you clipped 3 months ago that gives you twenty-five cents off your total grocery order of over one hundred dollars... All the while you did a fabulous job ignoring the eight people that have lined up behind you to also pay for their groceries.
When you finally resumed check writing you were so unconcerned about the AMOUNT OF TIME you were taking, it was quite remarkable. When you finished writing the check, ALL EIGHT OF US staring at you were waiting with baited breath for you to rip it out. But no, you had to first log it in the register in the very back of the checkbook. Finally, finally, finally, once that was done did you have the courage to rip out the check, your baby, your masterpiece and hand it over to the check-out lady (who had been rolling her eyes at you for the last 10 minutes while you wrote out your check).
Thank you, dear Lady-in-the-Grocery-Store-Line, because you blew my mind. In one simple decision over which line to pick, my life was changed forever. I LOST TEN MINUTES BUT GAINED A NEW APPRECIATION FOR THE SPEED AT WHICH MOST PEOPLE ARE ABLE TO PAY FOR THEIR GROCERIES and use something new... called a Credit Card. That one swipe sure is amazing, but it may take a while for it to catch on. Anyways, you also gave a good, long laugh because I have never, ever seen someone so oblivious in my entire life. Keep on a writin' those checks and checking those coupons, and don't forget to argue about some prices while your at it. We are all waiting until the next time we are in line behind you. Can't wait,
LOVE,
KLOU
While we stood behind you in the check out line, you raised no immediate red flags. You looked like you were functioning just fine in the 21st century. Looking back, maybe it should have been the enormous quantity of pre-packaged meals that should have tipped me off, maybe it was the slightly hair-brained expression on your face... Either way, though, I was not prepared for the fact that really, under the disguise of a modern woman with normal looking clothes that you were an old lady who lives with 84 cats, smells like it, and gets uppity when anyone suggests you move more quickly.
As you were checking out and packing your groceries, I thought nothing of it. That was, until the check-out woman told you your total. You slowly walked back to the pay station and JUST THEN seemed to start thinking about your method of payment ("Oh, I have to pay for these meals in a box? Who knew."). All the while I was at the end of the conveyor belt waiting for MY groceries. I watched you thinking, "there is no WAY she is going for her checkbook," but OH YOU WERE... As you start writing out the check, I could see that the early thirty-something brown hair was allowing the massive stock of gray hair underneath peek through. Then you decided to take it one step further... You set down your check book and browsed through your coupon book like you might have forgotten that one coupon you clipped 3 months ago that gives you twenty-five cents off your total grocery order of over one hundred dollars... All the while you did a fabulous job ignoring the eight people that have lined up behind you to also pay for their groceries.
When you finally resumed check writing you were so unconcerned about the AMOUNT OF TIME you were taking, it was quite remarkable. When you finished writing the check, ALL EIGHT OF US staring at you were waiting with baited breath for you to rip it out. But no, you had to first log it in the register in the very back of the checkbook. Finally, finally, finally, once that was done did you have the courage to rip out the check, your baby, your masterpiece and hand it over to the check-out lady (who had been rolling her eyes at you for the last 10 minutes while you wrote out your check).
Thank you, dear Lady-in-the-Grocery-Store-Line, because you blew my mind. In one simple decision over which line to pick, my life was changed forever. I LOST TEN MINUTES BUT GAINED A NEW APPRECIATION FOR THE SPEED AT WHICH MOST PEOPLE ARE ABLE TO PAY FOR THEIR GROCERIES and use something new... called a Credit Card. That one swipe sure is amazing, but it may take a while for it to catch on. Anyways, you also gave a good, long laugh because I have never, ever seen someone so oblivious in my entire life. Keep on a writin' those checks and checking those coupons, and don't forget to argue about some prices while your at it. We are all waiting until the next time we are in line behind you. Can't wait,
LOVE,
KLOU
posted by KLOU | 7:34 AM
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