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Location: Midwest, United States

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Vanishing Acts

I really have about ten other things I could be doing right now, but I have a few things on my mind to share.

Tonight I finished ready Jodi Picoult's book, Vanishing Acts. It is only my second Picoult novel (after reading the first one- the title escapes me - about the young couple murder/suicide story, I swore I would never read another one) and again, I am not sure if I will read another of her books. I can't quite explain it but they are so laden with grief, with foreboding, with unhappiness. I end up feeling emotionally drained after reading. I also think a lot about what pushes her to continually explore the gray area between right and wrong and do so with many of the same scenarios: children growing up together and turning into lovers, a search for identity, a jail stay by someone you would never expect, unhealthy romantic relationships... I could go on. Regardless, the book was entertaining but also not what I would probably chose to read again...At points it made me feel physically ill thinking of losing Benjamin.

Another rash of pregnancies. Spreading like wild-fire and I love it! Can't wait for more little kiddos to be a part of our life (not to mention our social scene). I also have to admit here that once you are pregnant it is totally easy to guess when someone else is pregnant, and it is hard to wait to get the official word. Most notable of the latest pregnancies are: a) my sister with her second, due in April. I am super excited that Benji will have another cousin and that Emma will have a sibling. b)a couple that husband I met about a year ago now through another couple that we know. I remember being at a Christmas party with them last year and having them both pepper us with questions about being pregnant and our plans for having a baby. Congratulations to them! My how time flies, now we have a six-month-old.

Speaking of the six-month-old, I keep thinking I should post some of my reflections on being a mother here, but duh! I have no time. I remind myself that I need to write them down, lest it is so easy to forget the thoughts that we have about the precious times in our lives. Needless to say, I am in awe that Benji is already almost six-months, they time has flown by. I am in awe of how much I love him. I am in awe of how much I love being a mother. I am in awe of how much I love being a family of three. I am in awe of how very different life looks from this vantage point.

Today, I stayed home with Benji. Normally husband and I work from home together on Wednesdays and tag team all day. I had comp time built up from some late nights where I didn't get to see him and Jff had some pressing out-of-the-house things to do for work today, so I was a stay-at-home-mom for the day today. It was great. Benji and I went for a walk around the lake and it rained the entire time. He slept in the BOB and stayed very dry and cozy in his fleece snow suit and I wore a combo soft-shell/hard shell coat and got soaked, but it was nice to be out. Although I love my job, I sincerely wish to work one less day a week so that I could have a four-day work week every week to do things like walk and spend time during the day with the boy, but for now it doesn't fit with the position I have. So, I will just have to hope that by the time we have our second, something will have shifted that will make it easier to go part-time in my position.

A group of us that took a mom and baby class together this summer are in the process of planning another gathering and I am excited to see all of Benji's little buds. I really like the moms and hope that we will all stay in touch in the long run so our kids will know each other.

Lastly, Benjamin's baptism this last weekend was great. I really enjoyed it and he did wonderfully. It was fun to have so much family there to celebrate with us. I am also glad it is over, it was just another thing in a long list of events this fall that have made the weekends crazy. Benji celebrated his baptism by cutting his first tooth!

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