Twenty Six
(Warning: This is a long one...sorry.)
For my twenty sixth birthday I celebrated with a my family and few close friends at my favorite dive bar in the Duluth/Superior: The Anchor Bar. The beer just tastes better there and it is about the only place I will ever order a burger- they are absolutely fantastic.
That spring I was itching to get outside or to go places. I was so ready for the weather to turn. Robert and I had just broken up and I remember being glad because Robert was not the outdoor type by choice. But I also remember despairing that none of my other friends in the area were the outdoor type either. Other than a few trips up to Duluth to sail with dad on the big lake, I was out of luck. That February at school a teacher was accused of elicit behavior with a student and was put on leave for the rest of the year. A former teacher who I had always heard about ("he would be perfect for you", "he also plays frisbee and loves the outdoors") but had never met came back to sub for the rest of the year. SL was a little older than me, but we did have a lot in common. We started talking a lot during our common prep and that June we started dating. I was excited for some outdoor adventure.
I soon found out that SL was pretty high maintenance, extremely sensitive, and sometimes fun to be with. When we were both on-it was absolute dynamite, but boy when he was off... well it was difficult to know exactly what to do because it was probably wrong no matter what. I liked him but wasn't always so sure he was for me. It made it even more confusing that Robert had suddenly decided he couldn't live with out me. He was calling me constantly and SL was a jealous freak. So a lot of what I remember about that summer is spending time with each of them, but constantly having to screen my cell phone calls, tell little lies, and just be careful about what I said. What I really wanted were a few more girl friends who lived in town.
That summer I also took off on a trip to go visit DrMI in Ann Arbor, My c
ousin Jean in Chicago, Doris in Milwaukee, and Eric in Madison. It was really nice to see DrMI- I stayed there the longest and I remember going down to campus and seeing a movie outside. I also remember thinking for the first time that she was going to marry her boyfriend (which she since has-yippee!). The rest of the trip was also really fun. This picture Eric, the photographer, took of me after we had played some frisbee in my favorite Madison park while I was visiting.
Two high school friends got married that summer. Both h
ad been good friends and they were fun events. ES's was particularly memorable, but I can't say why other than the beautiful location and interesting cast of characters. It was fun to have DrMI in town and I remember going to a White Stripe's concert with DrMI, MG, and Robert. That was a really fun night.
That summer I also agreed to go on a trip up to the Canadian wilderness area (the Quetico) with SL. We went up for a week on a portion of the area that was very untraveled. It was much more rugged
than the BWCA I had always done. The scenery was beautiful, the weather wasn't so great. It was fun at times, but by the end of the trip I was a little over-done with SL. The patronizing sigh and superior attitude just required so much too much restraint on my part. I broke that one off before the end of July.
The summer of weddings continued with my cousin Dave's on the Michigan Peninsula in August. It was a beautiful time spent out at their lake house and the hotel on the canal. It was fun to have the whole family there. I am pictured with my fav. cousin Jean and her husband Daryl at the wedding. I remember my grandma doing so well and loving the dancing. I also remember the really fun family photos on the patio.
The last trip of the summer was down to Chicago for my aunt's 60th birthday. My cousin Jean, me, my mom, my Aunt Lynda, and my Aunt Peggy spent the weekend shopping, out to dinner with my other cousin Stephen, and doing different fun things around the city. It was a great time, I remember laughing a lot.
That fall Robert and I got back together. Now this is one of the "crack" moments of my history. I don't really know why I thought this was a good idea, nor why I ever got back together with anyone again. I should have learned my lesson. What I quickly learned is that being good friends with someone is so much different from dating them again. There are just things you can never escape when you are that involved in someone's life that can easily be overlooked or hidden when you only see each other casually. After he came back from Norway, he basically moved in with me while he looked for an apartment, and then he just... well, stayed.
After playing pick up frisbee all spring and summer, I finally started playing full time in the fall on the "Crappers" team. It was an eclectic group that could be super fun, but could also at times, be a little too high school. I did play with them for at least two years. One of the girls on the team, J became a good friend. I was really glad to have her around especially since we lived so close. That fall is also when I bought my 14 foot racing sailboat to keep at my parent's cabin. I remember realizing that I couldn't marry Robert when he capsized the boat and then was freaked out by the water. I ended up rescuing the boat and myself while my parents came out to pick him up. Right about then is when I thought that maybe I would just be single for the rest of my life and maybe that was okay with me.
In October, my Step-Brother got married in North Dako
ta, so the year of the wedding continued. I was the reader in that wedding and hated the sexist reading they picked for me to read. I just smiled through the whole thing though and of course never said a word- but vowed not to read either a cliche verse nor a sexist verse from the Bible at my own wedding in the future. I remember having a great time dancing, but wondering why anyone lived in North Dakota. That weekend is when I realized that my sister was probably not going to stay with her long-time boyfriend and that she also would probably never relate to any of her siblings normally.
House hunting took up a lot of my fall. Robert was totally uninterested in me buying a house because it meant more responsibility and more money saving. (At this point the break up signs were flashing loud and clear). I kept going though, and after Thanksgiving ended up finding my lovely little house that I now own. I was so proud to have this house and loved living in the city finally. I remember moving the coldest weekend of the year in the end of January.
To this day, I don't know why I allowed Robert to move in... but within a month he was on his way out. In the end it was an amicable break up, we both knew it needed to happen. I think we just had so much fun together, but when real life came into the picture we realized how different we were. He wanted to play constantly, travel, never plan, and let someone else do the work. He hated having to curb his lifestyle for any reason- especially a lack of money. I on the other hand was always being too responsible, too thoughtful, and too stable. I realized about a month after we broke up that he had always made me more stressed by wanting me to do things fast and without thinking about them. I was really relieved and determined to follow my gut much more in deciding who to spend time with in the future. I think this is actually one of the best things I learned from Robert- to understand people and to enjoy them, but also be clear with myself about who makes me laugh and who just makes me anxious in the end.
For my twenty sixth birthday I celebrated with a my family and few close friends at my favorite dive bar in the Duluth/Superior: The Anchor Bar. The beer just tastes better there and it is about the only place I will ever order a burger- they are absolutely fantastic.
That spring I was itching to get outside or to go places. I was so ready for the weather to turn. Robert and I had just broken up and I remember being glad because Robert was not the outdoor type by choice. But I also remember despairing that none of my other friends in the area were the outdoor type either. Other than a few trips up to Duluth to sail with dad on the big lake, I was out of luck. That February at school a teacher was accused of elicit behavior with a student and was put on leave for the rest of the year. A former teacher who I had always heard about ("he would be perfect for you", "he also plays frisbee and loves the outdoors") but had never met came back to sub for the rest of the year. SL was a little older than me, but we did have a lot in common. We started talking a lot during our common prep and that June we started dating. I was excited for some outdoor adventure.
I soon found out that SL was pretty high maintenance, extremely sensitive, and sometimes fun to be with. When we were both on-it was absolute dynamite, but boy when he was off... well it was difficult to know exactly what to do because it was probably wrong no matter what. I liked him but wasn't always so sure he was for me. It made it even more confusing that Robert had suddenly decided he couldn't live with out me. He was calling me constantly and SL was a jealous freak. So a lot of what I remember about that summer is spending time with each of them, but constantly having to screen my cell phone calls, tell little lies, and just be careful about what I said. What I really wanted were a few more girl friends who lived in town.
That summer I also took off on a trip to go visit DrMI in Ann Arbor, My c
ousin Jean in Chicago, Doris in Milwaukee, and Eric in Madison. It was really nice to see DrMI- I stayed there the longest and I remember going down to campus and seeing a movie outside. I also remember thinking for the first time that she was going to marry her boyfriend (which she since has-yippee!). The rest of the trip was also really fun. This picture Eric, the photographer, took of me after we had played some frisbee in my favorite Madison park while I was visiting.Two high school friends got married that summer. Both h
ad been good friends and they were fun events. ES's was particularly memorable, but I can't say why other than the beautiful location and interesting cast of characters. It was fun to have DrMI in town and I remember going to a White Stripe's concert with DrMI, MG, and Robert. That was a really fun night.That summer I also agreed to go on a trip up to the Canadian wilderness area (the Quetico) with SL. We went up for a week on a portion of the area that was very untraveled. It was much more rugged
than the BWCA I had always done. The scenery was beautiful, the weather wasn't so great. It was fun at times, but by the end of the trip I was a little over-done with SL. The patronizing sigh and superior attitude just required so much too much restraint on my part. I broke that one off before the end of July.
The summer of weddings continued with my cousin Dave's on the Michigan Peninsula in August. It was a beautiful time spent out at their lake house and the hotel on the canal. It was fun to have the whole family there. I am pictured with my fav. cousin Jean and her husband Daryl at the wedding. I remember my grandma doing so well and loving the dancing. I also remember the really fun family photos on the patio.
The last trip of the summer was down to Chicago for my aunt's 60th birthday. My cousin Jean, me, my mom, my Aunt Lynda, and my Aunt Peggy spent the weekend shopping, out to dinner with my other cousin Stephen, and doing different fun things around the city. It was a great time, I remember laughing a lot.
That fall Robert and I got back together. Now this is one of the "crack" moments of my history. I don't really know why I thought this was a good idea, nor why I ever got back together with anyone again. I should have learned my lesson. What I quickly learned is that being good friends with someone is so much different from dating them again. There are just things you can never escape when you are that involved in someone's life that can easily be overlooked or hidden when you only see each other casually. After he came back from Norway, he basically moved in with me while he looked for an apartment, and then he just... well, stayed.
After playing pick up frisbee all spring and summer, I finally started playing full time in the fall on the "Crappers" team. It was an eclectic group that could be super fun, but could also at times, be a little too high school. I did play with them for at least two years. One of the girls on the team, J became a good friend. I was really glad to have her around especially since we lived so close. That fall is also when I bought my 14 foot racing sailboat to keep at my parent's cabin. I remember realizing that I couldn't marry Robert when he capsized the boat and then was freaked out by the water. I ended up rescuing the boat and myself while my parents came out to pick him up. Right about then is when I thought that maybe I would just be single for the rest of my life and maybe that was okay with me.
In October, my Step-Brother got married in North Dako
ta, so the year of the wedding continued. I was the reader in that wedding and hated the sexist reading they picked for me to read. I just smiled through the whole thing though and of course never said a word- but vowed not to read either a cliche verse nor a sexist verse from the Bible at my own wedding in the future. I remember having a great time dancing, but wondering why anyone lived in North Dakota. That weekend is when I realized that my sister was probably not going to stay with her long-time boyfriend and that she also would probably never relate to any of her siblings normally.House hunting took up a lot of my fall. Robert was totally uninterested in me buying a house because it meant more responsibility and more money saving. (At this point the break up signs were flashing loud and clear). I kept going though, and after Thanksgiving ended up finding my lovely little house that I now own. I was so proud to have this house and loved living in the city finally. I remember moving the coldest weekend of the year in the end of January.
To this day, I don't know why I allowed Robert to move in... but within a month he was on his way out. In the end it was an amicable break up, we both knew it needed to happen. I think we just had so much fun together, but when real life came into the picture we realized how different we were. He wanted to play constantly, travel, never plan, and let someone else do the work. He hated having to curb his lifestyle for any reason- especially a lack of money. I on the other hand was always being too responsible, too thoughtful, and too stable. I realized about a month after we broke up that he had always made me more stressed by wanting me to do things fast and without thinking about them. I was really relieved and determined to follow my gut much more in deciding who to spend time with in the future. I think this is actually one of the best things I learned from Robert- to understand people and to enjoy them, but also be clear with myself about who makes me laugh and who just makes me anxious in the end.
posted by KLOU | 3:12 PM
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