Why do school work when you can blog instead?

Randoms:

All is well when you are in the sun, lately.

Leo was outside this evening sitting in the dirt filled flower pot as if he were an important new flower. It reminded me of cabbage patch dolls and how they came from the cabbage patch.

Wedding work is getting busier and busier. Jff typed up a to do list and although we worked on it a lot over the weekend, we still couldn't cross anything off. At least girl friends are coming over en masse to help me with invitations on Thursday! Yippee!

My job adventure into wealthy suburbia is currently sucking the life out of me. Today while proctoring the Minnesota Comprehensive Assessment in math (a new level of fun, I hadn't previously known), I had the same student demand that I a) provide her with a calculator because she had forgotten hers, b) let her go upstairs to another teacher's room when she was done with her test (I had to remind her that others MIGHT still be taking tests in that teachers room- read: the world does not revolve around you.) c)call someone to escort(testing rules) her to the bathroom immediately d)let her use her cell phone to order lunch out and e) let all the students leave early. By 11:30, when the bell rang, I had 24 juniors led by miss demands-a lot glaring at me because I wouldn't let them go early (when did that become something more than a random treat?). After all that I found my calculator I had loaned out in the back of the room on the floor. Super-de-dooper.

I shouldn't complain too much, because when recounting the story of a softball game gone bad on Monday, one of my students volunteered to bring in brand new softball catching equipment he "doesn't use anymore" for me to have (worth about $150 at least). I won't hold my breath until it arrives, but I'll take it. Maybe I should just take to wearing that every day to deal with student abuse. I could just pretend I couldn't hear them with the helmet on.

Lastly, Jff and I visited the jeweler's today and picked up the wedding bands we had ordered. It was really fun. It still seems crazy to be buying diamonds.

Bon Voyage!

There are times in everyone's life when they are the most beautiful of who they are. There are no words to describe this to my satisfaction, but it happens when they have been searching for something that they finally find. The right career, life partner, closure, a baby on the way... They glow just slightly. They seem somehow...lighter. They are at that momemt who they were meant to be. Happy, still, completely absorbed. I love it.

Tonight I got a glimpse of that in my long-time friend and college roommate, KCL. This girl has run a marathon of disappointments and her ship has finally come in. She was stunning, I am full with happiness for her. She is getting married very non-traditionally (and this Thursday) due to life circumstances, but it doesn't matter. She is with the right person and she is so ready. Bon Voyage!

Spring!

A beautiful day playing outside yesterday. If only every day could be so filled with outdoor time. My tulips and daffodils are up!

"The little cares which fretted me,
I lost them yesterday,
Among the fields, above the sea,
Among the winds at play,
Among the lowing of the herds,
The rustling of the trees,
Among the singing of birds,
The humming of the bees."

-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Memo: keeping it real...

When I was in high school, I overdosed on drama. By the end of my freshman year, my three best friends had joined cheerleading, cheerleading, and danceline respectively. I was stuck- I didn't want to find new friends, but I also didn't want to be a cheerleading groupie- you know the kind- hangs out with all the cheerleaders although not one herself, re:wants to be a cheerleader but "didn't make the cut". So my reality in high school was sitting by other friends during any school event where there was cheering or dancing, hanging out the cheerleader's lockers only when I had to, listening to the cheer and dance drama on Friday nights when said friends were not at some school sponsored event, and trying to remind myself that I had never wanted to be a cheerleader nor drama queen.

I have to admit, here, one of my largest shames in life: I tried out for the cheerleading squad once because I was tired of being left out. I didn't make the cut. Oh the drama.

I often thank my lucky stars now that I didn't make it. What was I thinking?

Anyways, by the end of my senior year, I hated high school and all that I associated with it, re:drama. I was tired of all the pettiness that was present- especially amongst cheerleaders and dancers. I was the editor of the yearbook that year and I remember checking out of most of it in about February- who was going to be the next editor in chief? what would next year's theme be? I didn't care. I was dead-tired of having conversations about "tryouts" or the "exec board" (a type of student council), or who was taking who to the prom.

In the end, I think this is why I chose to attend a university that had an enrollment of 40,000+ people. I didn't want to "get involved", I didn't want to "know everyone on campus", I just wanted to take cool classes and meet new people, and live in a grown up world, re: no drama.

As I make my way in the grown up world, I have tried to avoid drama like the plague. Yes, I do teach in a high school which makes it pretty much impossible, but it is my daily mission to encourage students to "keep it small, keep it real, and think about the genocide occurring in Sudan instead".
I also try not to act like my cat when he sees other cats, I spend time with people who make me feel comfortable- people who just cut the crap and just tell you how they feel and what they are thinking about, I try not to freak out about the little things, and I frequently check in with drama-less queen, former cheerleader, and still best friend, K for words of wisdom.

Five Babies and a Grandma

Jff and I are on a quick spring break trip around the Northern part of Illinois and southern Wisconsin visiting people from both sides of our extended families. I love so many of these people- it really is fun. If I were going to pick a theme for this trip it woud probably be, "Five babies and a Grandma"

The first stop of the trip was to see Grandma. An amazing woman who has loved so many, for so long, that now she is just worn out. Her mind is playing tricks on her and she spends many days crying for reasons she doesn't entirely understand. As I helped put her to bed the other night, and she was enjoying a reprieve from the confusion, it was wonderful to be there and to see a glimmer of the woman I grew up adoring.

Last night we spent most of the afternoon and evening with my aunt, my cousin, her husband, and Baby L. It was a great time, baby L is about 1.3 years old and is about the most laid back baby/kid I have ever met. He is hilarious and is the poster child for why you would want to have a baby. I was floored to see how J and D's lives' have changed since having Baby L. It is amazing- my cousin is the type of person that I never saw as a 'mom type' until she became one. Now it is as though life has always included this wonderful little man. It was thought provoking to watch L toddle around with a remote control he was using as a cell phone and his mom's red Kate Spade in the crook of his elbow.

Five minutes after leaving Baby L's house, we arrived at Jff's uncle's house. The B's household contains: 2 large, loud dogs, a four year old who is convinced the world revolves around her, and not one, but two new babies- one of which is still in NICU care unit at a nearby hospital. Life is a little crazy around here. Jff and I have been busy playing hide and go seek, "Pretty, pretty, princess" game, loading and unloading dishwashers, and walking two large dogs. It is amazing to watch life change for this family as they think about life with not one, but three, little ones now.

I could go on about my other cousin and his wife, about thirty miles from where we are now, who just had their first baby and are struggling with breast feeding and sleeping through the night, but you already have heard this story from someone else you know.

On this trip I have been reminded about two things: first, how much children change your life- and I mean ALL of it. But secondly, how much nothing else matters so much to people. Kids seem to be this magic ticket to a really crazy life- but one that most people wouldn't trade for anything. Amazing really. I think I started to understand a little of this as I was holding three pound Baby A in the NICU today. Occasionally she would stick out her tongue when she yawned. It was half the size of a cat's. To think of being a parent of that small thing- that you had literally created- and then to know that you will watch it and help it grow up to be a regular sized human has got to be awe-inspiring and life-altering.

So as we drive home, and away from Grandma, and all the babies, I am amazed by life's cycle. Grandma now lives, literally, to see her daughters, me and my cousins, and especially the babies- her great grand children. She is one of the people who fed all of us, bathed us, and loved us when we all were so little. Now we do those things for her as she becomes as fragile as a baby in her old age. It is all a great reminder for me to really enjoy each moment of life, whatever stage I am in, and to accept the next stage of life with love and flexibility.