I think I might be... unfortunately famous?

Although I am a fairly outgoing person, I generally feel more comfortable keeping a low profile with the general public. Yes, at work I have had some leadership roles (running a big grant, teaching daily, etc.) but overall, I don't relish the spot light (it is too likely to illustrate my uneven skin tone and lazy eye). I would much prefer that my husband go out there and take the world by storm with his policy papers and talks across the country on alternative fuels and feed-in tariffs.

But lately, my name or face seems to be leaking out, and I don't know quite what to do about it.

First, as google maps has been on a mission to add street views to all their mapping locations (not just as satellite from above, but also head on pictures), husband recently looked up our house and found a picture of me lounging on the front lawn with a book (must have been taken last summer- and by the way who the heck is the strange dude on our sidewalk?). Today, ME was the first person aside from husband and I to notice and to tell me I was "famous!?". I won't link to it here, but if you know our address, it is worth a gander, as it is pretty funny.

Second, last year the graduate school I am a part of, approached me to ask if I might be interviewed on camera about my program. My professor had recommended me and I didn't quite know how to turn it down. I agreed after I was assured that it was only for perspective students to see... they just failed to tell me that they were putting on their web page. And rather than a short clip which I had been told, I have several parts. Unfortunate. It is so dorky and I blush every time I watch it. Along with uneven skin and lazy eye- I have found that my lips look weird when I talk and I have a bobble head. Incredibly embarrassing.

Finally, and this one is not so bad, (except for the picture that I had to send in). I am being published in a policy newsletter this month about a program that I am coordinating for the center. I am excited about the work that I am doing, but didn't necessarily need to share it in reflection form, with my picture next to it. As much as I like to write on this blog, I am not the world's most amazing writer, and prefer to remain semi-anonymous.

So, where's that rock? I am ready to crawl back under.

P.S. It was fitting tonight that I found another website completely by accident that makes me "famous"- I never realized that my wedding photographer would actually use a lot of our wedding photos to advertise (even though we had signed a release for her). Tonight as a friend was over wondering about wedding photography, I found out another place I am ... unfortunately famous. Not only are we pictured many times on her website, but she chose all of the pictures that I didn't like to display as her best. It solves the question of why she had put those pictures so prominently in our photo album, but makes me wonder how many other people feel the way I do about those pictures.

Leadership and personal integrity

Most recently, I have been thinking about two things that matter a lot to me: responsibility and personal integrity.

As I am now back in school, I am once again reading non-fiction books that are interesting- even though the titles are not always the most compelling for me. As usual, I am finding nuggets of wisdom in just about anything.

Here are some particularly interesting passages from The Leadership Challenge by James Kouzes and Barry Posner:

"leadership begins with something that grabs hold of you and won't let go. This is where you must go to find you voice. To find your voice, you have to explore your inner territory. You have to take a journey into those places in your heart and soul where you bury your treasures, so that you can carefully examine them and eventually bring them out for display."

"honesty is strongly tied to values and ethics. We appreciate people who know where they stand on important principles. We resolutely refuse to follow those who lack confidence in their own beliefs. We simply don't trust who can't or won't disclose a clear set of values, ethics, and standards and live by them."

"Leadership is a relationship between those who aspire to lead and those who chose to follow. It's the quality of this relationship that matters most when we're engaged in getting extraordinary things done. A leader-constituent relationship that's characterized by mutual respect and confidence will overcome the greatest adversities and leave a legacy of significance."

"You have to genuinely express yourself."

Purse Resolution

This morning, after more purse reflection (and telling the crazy story at friend's house last night), I decided I needed to know what happened.

I searched for the receipt that the manager had put in the bag with the purse. I finally found it, and alas! it provided some answers. (Should have done this last night).

$89.99 brown purse
-$20.00 credit for trouble
-$25.00 punch card redeemed (I offered her this, and she used it, but then gave it back to me- which confused me last night)
-$35.99 the price of the purse (that I "returned" in the form of the large black purse which was 69.99)

Total for purse: $0.00.

Still confusing, but at least I don't feel like I confused her so much that I stole the bag from her.

Thought my readers might like some resolution- I was glad for it this morning.

Karmic Reversal in the Form of a Brown Purse?

I have just had the strangest customer service experience, ever. I don't know quite what to think about it, so I will just throw it out there to cyberspace and to take husband's advice to try and not feel guilty about it...

There is this shoe store that I love. I have very troublesome feet and their shoes a) fit b) are one of the only brands of shoes that don't irritate my feet by the end of the day, and thank god for the fact that they are c) pretty cute. This brand is not cheap, but then again, pain-free feet are worth it.

So it all started last week when I ran to the mall to run an errand. I had a couple of $10 off coupons for the shoe store and they had a good sale. I knew that I needed a new pair of brown shoes and possibly a smallish brown purse of some sort. I found a great pair of brown shoes that I bought for $40 and a smallish brown purse of some sort for $30 (this was a bit of spending spree for me, keep in mind). The only catch on the purchase was that they didn't have the brown one in stock, but would send it to me for free. All set, I left the mall satisfied.

On Thursday, I got a pretty large box in the mail. It was the purse, only it was a largish black purse- a different style and a different price point. The purse they sent me was $70.

I brought the purse back to the store this afternoon, annoyed I had to go the mall on a Saturday to deal with the company's mistake. Once in the store, the saleswoman thanked me for my honesty in bringing back the more expensive purse and said she could re-order the smaller one for me. But what about my trouble in bringing it back? I was assured a $10 credit, but only if I bought a purse that was in the store today.

Prior to this, I had not felt entitled to the more expensive purse at all. But all of a sudden, I had to remind her that I could turn around and walk out of the store with something (large black purse) that was technically my property: sent to my home from her company. She agreed, and then upped my credit to $20.

I found one other brown purse in the store that I liked, but it was $90. And, although it was beautiful, I was clear that I did not need a $90 purse. Meanwhile, the manager of the store seemed to have recognized me, (or recognize that I buy shoes in the store ALL THE TIME), because she completely changed her mind. When I came back to the counter, she said that she would give me an equal trade for the $70 black purse. I was shocked, and not sure I deserved that. Then she promptly gave me the $90 brown purse. for free. no questions asked. no special coupon required. I felt speechless and didn't quite know what to do. I could feel my face flush with a little bit of embarrassment. I had hardly complained at all, and now this?

By the time that she had put the purse in the bag and told me to have a great night with a smile, I was convinced I was stealing something. As husband and I left the store, I said, "did I just steal something?" and "did she not do the math?" to which husband responded that it is not my job to make sure that everyone can do math and that they let me leave the store and that no security guards were chasing us.

So now the nice brown bag is sitting in my living room. Admittedly very nice. Why did the sales woman do this? Will she wake up at three a.m. and realize she made a mistake? Did she make a mistake or do it on purpose? Did I just steal from the man? Husband assures me that I "won" and that I should be glad to have the purse. In the end, I guess I consider it a gift from the company that I have spent thousands with, but I still don't quite know.

Maybe it is just a signal of a karmic reversal? Hmmm... Or maybe I will be struck down tomorrow while carrying my new brown purse.

Winter Sun

I think that in the winter, when the sun is up only during working hours, it is perfectly reasonable to expect employers to release their employees on Friday at least by noon when it is sunny out. For some people who don't have windows where they work, it is too hard to gamble for sun on Saturday and Sunday alone.

I am sitting in a coffee shop that has huge windows with sun streaming in and it feels amazing. I have missed the sun lately. The sky has been gray and the weather very cold.

Yesterday, a woman at the gym came in and when she found that her shampoo had frozen in the car in her bag, she said, "I am trying to be a good sport, but your winters here are really pretty rough". I thought with pride that I don't have that hard of a time with it anymore, but yet, the cold weather is a bit hard to take, and I do miss the sun.

B is for Baby

I can't resist a quick post, with bullets, about what I learned about babies yesterday at a friends' baby shower. Even though I have been to my share of baby showers, this one was particularly instructive:

• I learned that when you have more than one baby, or sometimes even with one, that you must wear a bracelet that indicates to you which breast is due to dispense the next meal, and at what time that will be.
• I learned that stretch marks are made during a pregnancy, especially with twins, and that they NEVER go away, although they do become less noticeable.
• I learned that when you are nursing, you must wear breast 'pads' in your bra so that you don't noticeably "leak" when out in public.
• I learned about what goes into a diaper bag (one of the games that we played. hmmm.)
• I learned that, but don't know whether to believe (according to Erin), that girl babies smell better than boy babies do.
  
• I learned that the younger you are when you have kids, the more likely your body is to return to its normal shape without help. (not surprising).
  
• I learned you can never have too many crib sheets.
• I learned that the best baby swing is a 'papysan' swing and that you can't have too many 'pack and plays'.
• I learned that some mothers consider it a treat to leave the house and go to work, even though half asleep, since it provides them some time away from the little ones.
• I learned a funny baby shower game to play, especially if the attendees like the website tmz.
  
• I learned that I will feel a little overwhelmed in trying to prepare for a baby's arrival because there is an amazing amount of "shoulds", "what ifs", and "need to knows" out there for new moms.
  

H is for High School

When I was in high school my group of friends was a mixed gender group of about 15 kids. We hung out together constantly: playing sports, bonfires on the beach, nighttime tag, and hanging out at different peoples' houses. There wasn't much to do where we grew up, but it didn't matter because we made it up.

After high school, we stayed in touch to different degrees. By then there had been some breaks in the "group", though. Some hook ups that made things uncomfortable, some break ups, some strained friendships after mishaps, I had dated someone outside of the group and had not been in attendance for a while, DocMI started dating Erin's infatuation right after they broke up and things had never healed...(some of these things dictated the way friendships still happen now, amazingly).

Some people in the group stayed more or less connected across the span of time. Some were close geographically and personally in college, there was always the bar nights when we were home from college, Sarah and Todd dated and lived together, DocMI and I lived together, Sarah and Jenny lived together and so on.

After college, there was a rash of weddings (and bike trips, but that is a completely different story). C and S had dated through high school and were the first ones to get married, then J who had met D (also from home) the first day of college, and then there was Erin's wedding and Sarah's wedding. At each event we would see the group- some of the guys acting like they were still in high school, the girls maintaining much more connection. For awhile people were spread across the country.

After people really settled down- they bought houses and became the lawyers (1), doctors (3), teachers (2), business people (3), writers/editors (1), librarians (1), and pilots (1) they had trained to become. Most recently, as in the last three years, it has been about babies. Among the women, there are currently 3 toddlers, 2 sets of infant twins, and another set of twins on the way. (Yeah, I know: shocking!)

Yesterday, I went to the baby shower for the twins on the way (and of course mom). It was fun to see old friends, meet offspring, hold babies, catch up on the happenings. Right now it is new, bigger houses and purchases of mini-vans, and trying to survive with a small child and a set of babies. C, J, E, and S have changed little overall, although E now has a body exactly like her mom's and is much more mellow. I would say motherhood is her best stage- she remains funny, but now not at the expense of others so much.

As I was driving home, I kept thinking about how impressive it is that some of our group of friends from high school have remained very close friends. At times, I am nostalgic and wish that I was as close to them as I was, but then I realize that I have never been at the same life stage as many of them. When they were living here fresh out of college, I was still finishing my degree several hundred miles away, when I moved here, they were all living in other places, while I was dating and exploring they were getting married, and now while I am still having a hard time thinking about not playing as many sports and enjoying just being with husband, they are having kids-- many. I can also imagine that I finally have my first child, they will be discussing preschools and elementary schools, ways to reinvigorate their marriages, and moving to the suburbs. And I am in no rush.

Although, I loved seeing the high school girls, it was a relief to return to my married-without-kids life last night (and also to my post high school realm). It is good to have friends that are in a different stage from you so that you can be prepared by what you see them tackling before you get there, but also so that you can also enjoy the stage you are currently at with the friends you currently are close to.

Cube Life

Sometimes I ponder the amount of work that would get done in the world if people weren't in cubes right on top of each other in the work place... Yes, there would be the procrastination factor of having more privacy. No one would hear your phone conversations or be able to see your monitor screen. However, there would also be a door that people could close when they were sincerely wanting to do work (which for me is most of the time).

Currently, I am writing a piece on my work with one of the center's initiatives for a Public Policy Monthly published by a regional non-profit. I am trying to do my best work at striking the right tone, while I have eight conversations going on around me. There is the meeting that is happening in the cube straight ahead of me that includes at least three people with huge outbursts of laughing, the constant chatter of people at the copy machine behind me about things like their dogs and the weather, the phone conversation happening across the wall that includes a very lively exchange in Spanish, and the computer instruction that is happening in another cube behind me that involving a lot of catty gossip interspersed.

I write by continually reading back to myself what I have written and work the writing out in my head as I go along. Needless to say, it is a bit of a challenge to concentrate today. Which is probably why I find myself writing on my blog, while I am supposed to be writing for work. My blatant procrastination is a first and I think it has a lot to do with not being able to hear myself think.

It is Monday! Everyone should be sleepy and busy reading online news sites like TMZ (I just learned about this)- not by conferencing with everyone they work with around me! Well, back to work I go. The phone conversation is over and so is the pow wow at the copier, so on-ward I will endeavor to be a productive worker in cube land.

Some Good Stuff

In realizing that a lot of my recent posts have just been complaints, here is my contribution to a happier blog:

It is fun to have friends from out of town staying with us- and a first- we have 6 month old as a weekend guest. It is already an adventure and bound to be even more fun in the next couple of days. So far the bath has been the most fun.

I completed my first oral history interview last night with an Iraq Vet. This is part of a project at work that I have been asked to lead- which is my first foray into program development for the Center. The interview lasted two hours and was absolutely riveting. I rode home on the bus still stunned by the things I learned.

I love working at the college where I also go to school. The other day I wanted a book from the library. The city and county library system had a long waiting list. The next day at work, I checked the college library website. There it was. I walk about a block, through an indoor walkway to the library, checked out the book, and made back to my desk in 15 minutes all without putting on my coat.

I went out for lunch today with someone I was meeting for work. We went to my favorite restaurant near work- all organic and vegetarian and volunteer run. I had the most amazing Russian Cabbage Borscht. It was bright red, was sweet but not too sweet, and had great crunchy vegetables in it. I really would love to have the recipe.

We bought a new washing machine yesterday- yes, after all the analyzing, we did it within about two hours. We found a pretty new washer with all the bells and whistles on Craigslist for $100. Jff's brother picked it up for us in a truck, delivered it and took away the old one for us. The new one is installed and has already done a couple of loads in the new laundry room. A fab. solution according to me.

Tomorrow night is a our first winter frisbee game. I am hoping that my foot holds up because I am so excited to play. It is a new team this year with some fun friends. We are also hosting a baby meet and greet with two recently born babies in our friend group. Should be interesting and very fun.

Lastly, thank the good Lord above that Clinton didn't get first or second in Iowa. It gives me hope for Edwards or at the very least, Obama.

The Decision is in the Details

For anyone wanting to know how husband and I make decisions, check out his recent post on replacing our now deceased washing machine.

In this post, husband illustrates with great precision, what happens when we have a financially-related decision to make: he researches constantly, spread-sheets the hell out of it, then talks to me A LOT about it.

I typically respond with "okay's", "uh-huhs", and "wows" when appropriate to show that I am listening. Then I follow with focus questions like "regardless of the better money/energy ratio savings do we really want to spend $800's? Are we assuming we are buying both washer and dryer or not?", and after much discussion, I bring out the over-arching observations like, "the front loader might be worth it if we were to use it for at least five years." or "I think we can take our time making this decision." or "let's not talk about it right now".

Lastly, husband shows me a series of 'good options' by sending me links in emails or while we are at home. I ask more questions. We discuss. Occasionally, I veto. We decide on our first and second best options and go for it.

Alexander's addendum

Aren't bad things only supposed to happen in threes?

We are six or seven in and there are no signs of it stopping.

On our way to broomball we realized our sticks were in the trunk of Jff's car. Which is in the shop for some repairs. I left practice and drove 30 minutes round trip to the shop only to find that the car was locked inside. No sticks and very little time at practice.

After broomball, I took all of our long underwear and threw it in the washer. Then as I was standing there admiring our re-painted and re-worked laundry room, the washer died. Right in front of my eyes. Water gushing from the bottom, making noises but not spinning the clothes. Clothes soaped but not rinsed.

Sad. I was hoping we were going to leave this all behind in 2007. Instead I got to use my brand new laundry tub to rinse out and wring individually every piece of clothing that had been in the washer.

Can't wait to see what is next.