Fighting or Playing?

Such a complex question when it comes to kitties...

Creativity and... Psychological Androgeny?

I am taking a class this semester called, "Creativity, Imagination, and Innovation," it is taught by two guys who used to work together at 3M 30 years ago. One of them is now an education professor in Innovation Studies and the other one is a Architect, Business consultant, and teacher at MCAD. It is a super cool class- an example of interdisciplinary studies, my master's degree home. However, most of the class is populated by MBAs and other business people coming back to school. Fascinating discussions so far.

Currently we are reading a book by Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced chicks-a-ma-high) a University of Chicago psychologist who wrote the book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience and Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention. I am reading both this semester- for two different, totally unrelated classes.

Anyways, Csiksz has a number of really interesting observations about 'creative' people; in his research he asserts, "when tests of masculinity/femininity are given to young people, over and over one finds that creative and talented girls are more dominant and tougher than other girls, and creative boys are more sensitive and less aggressive than their male peers," This gives this person an advantage of sorts he believes, "A psychologically androgynous person in effect doubles his or her repertoire of responses and can interact with the world in terms of a much richer and varied spectrum of opportunities."

Of course many people probably cry foul over how 'provable' this is... but maybe they just aren't thinking... well, creativity enough.

Sewn Together

The Wedding Quilt Arrives from Mom Bbf! It is a pretty amazing gift- over 1,000 pieces sewn together, a year and a half in the making, and a lot of love put into it.

Hip, hip, hooray!

Thank God for Sunday night drinks with friends. Some valuable revelations:

1. After having a beer- there was no stomach aching. That is good because it means little issue with Gluten or allergies to beer. I was getting worried there after a string of pretty bad experiences. Hooray for that.

2. Hooray for deep, real conversations that didn't end in silence, but rather---- shocker: more conversation. Unfortunately, three hours later the four of us had to peel our butts from the vinyl booth, but worth it. The parking ramp wasn't such a good deal either.

3. Hooray for simply not doing work on Sunday night.

4. Hooray for those of us turning the corner on the big 3-0, soon. It brought some clarity and perspective for me.

5. Hooray for meeting husband at friends' house after for a little taste of WARM Thai food and a little bit of football. I am happy that two mid-western teams are going to the Super Bowl.

Conscientious Objector to The Man (or At Least U.S. Health Care)

Anyone who has talked to me, much less seen me, in the last week has known this: I look and feel like crap.

A week ago I caught a horrible cold from husband that I usually elude every winter. For a girl with a permanently low white blood cell count, I am amazingly stealth at avoiding sickness. Not so lucky this time.

Husbands Experience: a plugged nose, a few coughs, sleepy for three days.

I got sick about a week ago which started out with me crawling to bed one night around 8:30. I kept expecting to wake up and have it be gone, like it was for Jff. Well, not so. Maybe I was being punished for doing Yoga Thursday with the bug, playing frisbee Friday, doing aerobics on Saturday, and broomball on Sunday, either way by Sunday night it was a TKO. I didn't even go to school yesterday, and last night I got about 5 hours of sleep- while I wasn't coughing myself silly. Today I taught while coughing every 3 seconds. At the end of the hour the kids were telling me they were sick of listening to me hack. Yeah, I know.

While talking to me on the phone for five minutes today, husband pointed out that I made an amalgamation of sounds- sniffing, coughing, sneezing, snorting, and so fourth. Lovely.

So I finally decided to go to the doctor. Fine. Yes, I have an infection, yes I have bronchial asthma, yes, I need antibiotics and TWO inhalers? After trying to clarify with his broken English, (although his pronunciation of wheezing was more like what you say on a swing when you are little WHEEEEEEEE with a ZG at the end), I got no where. I decided to stop asking questions and get out. That was my mistake.

At the pharmacy, while I am paying for ONE inhaler (I picked with the pharmacist) and my antibiotics, I notice the bill alone for my antibiotics is $25. Not a big deal, but for ten pills, when it usually is $11 copay through my insurance, I ask.

Turns out the doctor prescribed me the newest antibiotic that doesn't have a generic version. He probably saw me right after his fancy "info" lunch with the prescription company rep. Nice. So today my insurance company, me, and millions of others who are paying premiums financed a cool $135 to the company who created this new drug. All that for ten pills and a shitty cold- and of course for the fancy lunch I didn't have.

I was too tired, sick, and discouraged to turn around and repeat the process to get another kind of antibiotic. I trudged wearily home thinking about all the people that get caught in that trap. And I even know to ask questions.

I think there should be a label that says "Conscientious Objector to The Man" on my medical account that tells doctors to avoid all that bull shit and just give me the most honest thing they can. "Generics, Free-trade, Sustainable, Locally-Grown, Organics welcome - doesn't matter as long as they don't finance EVERYTHING I HATE ABOUT THE HEALTH CARE SYSTEM IN THE UNITED STATES!"

The Time-Out Tank

Today at school a couple of kids figured out that it wasn't a super duper idea to mess with me. After they were dip shits in class today, one got a phone call home, to which his dad said, "Oh don't worry, we'll have a nice long discussion about this over the weekend." and another one where the assistant principal said, "I have heard this same thing from about 4 of his other teachers, maybe Mr._____ needs a day off to think things over." As husband said, Mrs. R/F laying the smack down.

Well, the fun continues at home. Unfortunately I am both Nora's parent and assistant principal today. We are instituting a new chasing consequence for Nora. It is the time-out tank for five minutes. (otherwise know as kitty carrier.) So far, when she does time in the time-out tank, there are just sounds of destruction coming from inside and an occasional mournful cry.

Don't mess with me is what I say, I could call your parents or put you in a kitty carrier.

Come on, just say it...

I started thinking about this last night after a happy hour with the ladies... Talking is good. Most of the time it is good for you, and it is very often useful for others. When I was a kid, I hated when my dad would say in his best family therapist way (he was one), "sharing is important." But now, I think it is.

Last night, sharing was important. Although, she shall go unnamed, one of the happiest hour participants was just totally honest about, well some aspects of her life. Afterward she couldn't stop apologizing for 'TMI' or that she said a few things about her sex life. You know what? God, it was refreshing to have someone just talk, without measuring every word. I like hearing what people are really thinking about- the real dilemmas they are dealing with. It is fascinating to me and I always feel like I know them better, afterwards.

In both high school and college, my friends were very open, talkative people. With many of those people not here, I occasionally miss those types of conversations where you can say anything (kind of like that cheesy movie). Now, I pick up the phone to call other states if I have sort of, well, private questions or I just talk to husband about it.

So I keep wondering today: Do you only have "those" conversations with people you kind of grew up with? As you grow older do you just stop saying things like that out loud? Is age 25 a magic cut off date and you are either grandfathered in or not? Or is it when people get married that they sort of stop talking outside their marriage about things like that? (Or is it just living in the state that I do?)

Either way, I am having none of it. I think confidants are important all the way through life. So does this study about the importance of friends:

"At least when it comes to longevity, having good friends is better than having a close-knit family. That’s according to a 10-year study, partially funded by National Institute on Aging, and published in the February 2005 issue of the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health."

and

"People who said they have many close friends lived significantly longer than people who had more acquaintances than close friends. Still, even the “acquaintance-rich” folks seemed to live longer than people whose social world revolved around their children and other family members."

So I say, talk away, and I will too. I may even say the word S-E-X, but only if you are lucky.

Another

After some comments on the bridge picture from yesterday, I will post another view. I took these pictures on New Year's Day on a walk with Jff on Pike's Island.

Bridging the Gap

One of my favorites in the metro area.

My Fake Part-Time Job

So this week it has been back to High School Teaching... A pretty relaxed week considering I don't start back to the University until next week. A nice part-time week, or sort of...

As it is semester time, I have been considering my options for this summer and next year... To teach or not to teach? Now that I have done my time working my way up the pay scale and ladder in the public school system- it is difficult to leave the promise of a good part-time salary next year.

What other kind of jobs are out there?

Ummm, one problem. I don't have time to look. Yesterday I worked at my part-time job from 7 until 4:30 with only a few short breaks. Today, I would really like to take a nap this afternoon since the Cats were crazy all over the bed last night. But, ummm, I have papers to grade, a test to write, and classes to plan for. I will work hard on it today, so that I may have a free evening. So that for ONCE this semester I can say to husband, "I don't have anything to do tonight- what should we do?"

Last night husband volunteered to make me a spread sheet (one of his favorite activities) of how many hours I work now, how much I make, how many hours I might need to work next year to make the same amount, etc. Unhappily I realized that my daily work just for high school was near 7.5 hours a day.

Oh good, so I could really be working full time at any other job?

Super DE Duper...I LOVE my fake part-time job.

Two in a Bed...

I am currently reading a book called, Two in a Bed: The Social System of Couple Bed Sharing by Paul C. Rosenblatt, a sociologist from the University of Minnesota. In the book he discusses all aspects of couples sleeping together: how they first learn to sleep with someone else, rituals, disagreements about sleeping conditions (temp, t.v., light), sex and other pre-bed activities, outside intrusions, sleep disorders and their impact on couples, etc. Throughout the book there are excerpts from the interviews he did with the 88 couples he based his research on. The book is fascinating, but the excerpts are especially so.

The following explanation and excerpts from the book were really interesting in a hmmm... sort of way following a New Years' conversation where a story was told about two of my friends having sex in a 'family' bathroom at a mall. That was juxtaposed to the fact we also found out another couple we know is expecting their first child in June.

"Quite a few parents were concerned about children who slept in nearby bedrooms becoming aware of the sounds of parent intercourse. With children nearby, many parents felt that it was difficult to have intercourse freely, frequently, and spontaneously.

KAREN: When you are just a young couple and it's just the two of you, anything goes. Then you have the kids...and you gotta kind of work around the little kids and teach 'em how to knock on the door before they come in...Then with the teenagers... then you might work around whether they're home or not...Teenagers...can be a real challenge. I can remember saying, "Sh-h-h." (laughs) Or trying to be quiet.

MARGARET: We keep our door open at night (JOSH: Yeah), and in the morning, before we make love, you get up and lock the door (JOSH: Close it and lock it), because our son just comes in. He doesn't knock. There's no privacy."

Another excerpt talked about no longer sleeping nude or walking around nude in front of the kids. Wow, just more things to chalk up on the list to "enjoy now" while we don't have kids.

Here's to the year ahead...

Hello 2007!

A perfect way to welcome in the new year: a fresh blanket of snow, beautiful sun, and free time!

Now that snow has finally arrived, I am so excited to play outside ALL day. We will shovel, of course, and play in the yard, but I think we might also head down to our favorite state park which is close to our house for a long walk. Yippee, Mother Nature! I can't wait to do some skiing, snowshoeing, skating, and broomballing!

Begin, Real Winter 2007.

Note: Leo was not as pleased as I this morning about the snow. This is his maiden voyage out into the white wonderland.