Rhythm and Booms

When I lived in Madison, the biggest event of the year was the 4th of July fireworks festival: Rhythm and Booms. I hated the name, and after attending, wasn't convinced it was worth all of the bru-ha-ha that it got. Music set to the fireworks. The lamest part? It wasn't even on the 4th, it was on one of the bordering weekends. No good.

However, now, nearly eight years later, I still inadvertantly, think "Rhythm and Booms" when I think of the 4th of July. As husband and I were just talking about the 4th, I almost turned and said "What do you want to do for the Rhythm and Booms?" I am glad I caught myself, because I know what he would have said and it would have been something like, "Maybe we can make our own, baby!" and then for the entire next week he would be singing the song "Business Time" or whatever that damn song is, with Rhythm and Booms, mixed in just to bug me.

"Are you m.....?"

As a break from thesis suffering, I went to meet LEH for happy hour yesterday. When I got there, she wasn't there yet, so I sat down at the bar, ordered a glass of wine, and started to read the paper.

I heard the front door open and so I looked up expecting it to be her and ended up staring straight at a guy staring at me. I quickly looked away, not wanting him to think I was drinking alone, wanting company. (ugh). I went back to reading my newspaper.

I heard him ask the waitress for a spot for two, and sighed with relief that he was obviously meeting someone.

That is until a few seconds later when he was standing to my right, asking "Excuse me, but are you Mearit?" (which came out sounding like "are you married?")

I didn't quite get that he was talking to me right away, but did have a chance to think to myself, "did he just ask if I was married? What a strange come on." but then in the second it took me to look up from the paper, I realized he was asking me if I was a woman named Mearit. I was incredibly relieved, when I could tell him no I was not Mearit and he smiled and went back to his table.

Sigh of relief: clearly on a blind date- not looking for a date.

Mearit came few minutes after LEH did and she was cute. They sat at their table for two the whole time we were there and seemed to be having a good time.

The World Should Welcome....

John Driver and Noah Stephen! Hooray for new babies!

Good friend Amanda gave birth to her twins today. I can't wait to meet them tomorrow!

Congratulations to the T family! Here starts the adventure of three kids under two years of age. I admire your bravery, courage, and optimism in the face of a wild couple of years!

The tiny tragedies of life

Breaking up is hard to do...but sometimes it is just so necessary.

There is power in moving on and letting things change. Times goes on and people and situations find news paths, new ways of moving forward.

Opening the windows after a long time and letting the wind blow in and shake things up a bit.

Adapting to that new environment can move us into a new exciting place where we can continue to learn and develop.

I think I have always valued continuity and been somewhat averse to change. That in itself is changing subtly for me and has been for a while. I am starting to understand the power of change and breaking free from doing things the same way just because. So often letting go can be the most powerful thing you can do.

What I often realize after the fact, is that change or a 'break-up' of sorts doesn't always need to happen because things are bad, per se, more just because it is time. There is more out there for each piece, separately.

I think people especially, end up feeling badly that things had to change, when in reality no one is at fault, no one, or nothing is wrong. It is just a bit like growing out of clothes, leaving a dream behind, seeing a larger horizon, or letting go of a few more of the training wheels. At first things may feel a bit shaky or strange, but ultimately you realize in time just how much you needed to cast off old layers and keep growing.

There is new space in letting go of that house of 20 years, that job that was so comfortable...but not challenging, that personal 'story' that explained so much... about only the past, that personal connection that... could have been great, that dream that was so exciting... from afar, that promising beginning... that led to a shallow middle, that tradition that...used to work.

Letting go of those things takes courage and confidence. They can seem so tragic. And then later you recognize the nearly poetic opportunities that 'tragedy' created and brought forth.

The Map to Wherever

Oh, the joy of procrastination... I am back to (not) writing my thesis, which is quickly becoming the bane of my existence. It is taking too long! Summer is not for writing papers! If I didn't have such determination to finish my master's degree in two years, I think I would have waited until this fall to write my professional paper. Working during the summer is already a bit of a challenge.

Then again, is it summer right now? Unsure.

Last night went to go see Sex and the City with some pals. I liked it- it was just like the show- except better because it wasn't split up into episodes. In my opinion, one of the best show to movie transitions ever because the cast was all the same. I thought it might make me cry, several girlfriends had passed that on, but it did not evoke any tears. I did laugh a fair amount though.

I have been struggling a little with work lately and for some reason the movie made me think about that last night... (Maybe because of the absence of work in the movie?) I wish I had a good one liner for what about work is difficult... When I am not taking classes at the same time, work doesn't fill my need for mental challenge and creative outlet very well. Although, I am running a small project I really enjoy right now, a lot about my position is changing, and some of it is very beneath my skill level which can be demoralizing. Another thing that bothers me is that my direct supervisor (extreme perfectionist that she is) is going on maternity leave just as we are doing a huge book launch and publicity tour this summer. She seems convinced I will do most of her work for her and has already started making list after list of what needs to be taken care of. It is frustrating to me because I feel like if I am doing a totally different level of work, then I should be paid or recognized for it. All of this at the point that I am changing from 75% to full time.

When I think about trying to find another job once I graduate, however, I am torn. Although I don't like the way the Center is run personnel-wise, I do really like my co-workers. I love the location, commuting with husband (with no need for a car), the flexibility of my hours and vacation schedule, and I like the idea of staying longer than a year in this job. Plus, I would be leaving the project I am running that goes until February right in the middle of it.

So many tough decisions... Last night when it all felt like a lot to think about, a dear friend swooped in to talk about it. After our conversation I realized how many other women I know right now that are struggling in some way with their work. Whether it is balancing it with a family, or liking what they do, or just not knowing what their professional path will be, it is a challenge.

It it is sometimes hard to know the balance, or how to make decisions about things like careers- probably because there are no easy answers. I grew up with a mom who was a good mom and had a really successful career (successful in that she loves what she does and has been recognized for her contribution). Because of that I have a really high standard for what I will do for a living... It has to matter, it has to be fulfilling, it has to take advantage of my strengths. That can be a tall order, and for many of us, difficult to find.

One of the most important ideas I have been carrying around with me lately, and that the movie touched on last night, is that everyone takes a different path to get where they are going. Instead of feeling frustration at not having a road map, or "not having it figured out yet", the real challenge is walking your own path with grace- and with lots of compassion and laughter- for yourself and others, while not forgetting how important the people around you are (and the wisdom they can share).

Won't you be my neighbor?

Last Sunday we hosted a neighborhood potluck/BBQ in our front yard. It was great! In the course of three hours we saw people from every house on the block (except for two). The kids played and made it duly chaotic, the weather was beautiful, and I was surprised by the great food that everyone brought. It was a good time to get to know more of our neighbors and to share neighborhood knowledge.

I learned a lot, here are just a few of the things:

• It is nice to hang out with people on this block because I don't feel like I have to apologize for the airplane noise.

• We have great diversity on our block: a gay couple, a lesbian single mom, two Latino families, a single woman, a very religious family, someone who has lived on the block for 53 years, a woman that is 90 years old, a very large woman with lots of piercings, as well as lots of young couples with babies and kids.

• Our 5 year old neighbor has a very hard head. Literally, she was rolling around on an exercise ball in the yard, lurched forward and went head first into our basement window, which she broke both of the double panes WITHOUT GETTING ANY CUTS. This was amazing. The window was in 85 pieces and her head was fine.

• Two doors down from us lives a woman who is training for an Ironman Triathalon that takes place in two weeks in Idaho. For those of you who don't keep up on freaky athletic feats this is a race of a 2.4 mile swim, a 112 mile bike, and then a marathon. Now THAT is impressive (and scary). She was very down to earth about it saying she decided to do it because she wasn't getting any faster, but had great endurance.
  

• We have a cheese-maker on our block named Rueben.

• We have three kids one year and younger and six kids two years and younger!
  

• We have three houses that are currently in foreclosure proceedings and two more that are on the brink (sadly, both of the Latino families).

• Leo is known around the neighborhood as the cat who likes to travel around taunting indoor cats. He goes to windows where he knows they can see him and I can imagine him saying something like, "What? Your mom and dad won't let you ever come out and play?"

• Most of all I learned how nice it is to know everyone on this block, and how glad we are to live here.
  

Bus-ted

This morning as I was walking from the LRT to work, I almost got run over by a school bus. The driver blew through the stop sign and didn't stop until he was half way through the intersection.

It all made sense a second later when I saw that he was on his cell phone.

And then I noticed the bus was full of kids.

Too bad I didn't notice the bus identification number.