Married Nesters

For anyone that knows me well, this is true: I am a nester. I love to make the space I live in very comfortable, neat, and relaxing to be in. I love to work on house projects and to live in a place that I have improved.

Luckily, I married a nester, too. Although Jff nests in a little bit different way-he focuses on computer maintenance and upgrades, as well as making our living space more "efficient" and in good repair- it is still there.

What happens when two nesters get married? We turn into house-nerds.

We do a lot of house projects. We improve things happily. We enjoy working on things together. It is fun to go shopping for what we need, then planning and preparing, and finally completing something together.

This weekend we had a great time nesting. On Saturday we cleaned out the garage, I made a bench out of left over deck wood (by myself), we cleaned the deck in preparation for staining it, and we brought a pile of stuff we hadn't used back to the lumber yard. We began shopping for the second bathroom we are building. And I also got some new planting pots.

Saturday night we made homemade margherita pizza with all of our fresh garden ingredients and had a good night in.

Sunday we stained our deck and the bench I built. Husband fixed a light in the basement. We got ready for our big basement project to start. And then about the time both of us were getting ready to not be at home, we left to attend our friend's 30th birthday party. Spending the evening watching a backyard concert, discovering a new favorite beverage (Sea Dog Blueberry Wheat Beer- yum!) and talking to good friends was a great cap to the weekend. Especially when it involved planning our next adventure: a bike progressive dinner with all of our buddies who live in houses in the area.

Good Karma

Yippee!

Good karma comes from telling the world how you failed to get a job: you get an interview for another job that you want! Send me some good vibes August 1st at One O'Clock.

I have also been offered a position on the board of a local education foundation that I really believe in. Hopefully, I can fit it in this year. Either way, a good ending to a not so great beginning of the week.

Job Failure

I am back after a bit of a prolonged absence. I just could not bring myself to blog this week. I was busy reading Harry Potter #7, applying for jobs, and working on various projects around the house. I was also nursing a big disappointment, and now I am better.

On Monday, I got the phone call that told me I did not get my dream job.

The rejection ended a month-long saga that I will summarize here:

Job positing is sent to me by father-in-law, he was aware that this was a coveted job.

I blew off the job posting: Master's degree required (which I am only half way done with), and a it would be a career change that would require me to slow down grad school, commute, and work full time. Mostly I just didn't think I had any chance of getting it.

Father-in-law tells me to call the director, who he works with: "I think you are very well qualified, and should at least hear what he has to say"

I talk with Executive Director over the phone about the job and my experiences. I do this mainly to satisfy others. He is really excited and tells me: "I can only strongly, strongly encourage you to apply" and "Talking to you has just made my day." I slowly begin the application process with apprehension.

I struggle making the decision if I should even apply- do I really want to commute, push off finishing grad school, and try to work full time while going to school? Do I want this job more than the job being posted at the University?

I talk with various close friends about my decision. I start to get excited about the opportunity to work like I have my Masters while I am still getting it. I think about what fun it would be to do the job, what great ideas I have for programming, how great it would be to have a full time salary once again, how great my resume would be...

I interview. It goes really well. They tell me what the benefit package and salary would be. They are considering paying my tuition instead of benefits. The next day they are checking my references. I am really, really excited about the job. All other decisions about life are on hold until I find out about the job.

They call to tell me they are glad I interviewed and that the last candidate has pushed off her interview so it will be more than a week before they can let me know. But they assure me that this final candidate is part of protocol and that I remain a "very viable" candidate. (in other words, don't run off to another job before we have a final outcome.)

A week later, no phone call. I am sure this means they won't hire me. I believe they would have called the first day after the last interview if they wanted to offer me the position. I am assured that Fridays in the summer, etc, are obstacles and that I will hear on Monday. Sunday, I am sure that I will not be offered the job, but am more optimistic after run with LLC and dinner with the in-laws.

Monday I meet with graduate adviser, who also pushes me to be optimistic. This job would be fabulous for what I want to write my graduate thesis on... Moments after the meeting, I get the phone call that tells me they hired the last minute interviewee because of the amount of experience this candidate had doing exactly what they wanted. That it was a struggle to not choose me, but I represented more of a "gamble" for them based on my lack of experience.

I am crushed. This is the first job I have ever interviewed for that I haven't gotten. I didn't even want to apply for it at first, and now I am in tears calling husband because I didn't get it. I just want to curl up in bed and not come out. I do not want to have to explain to my wonderfully patient and enthusiastic friends that I did not get the job after so many conversations and "have you heard from ----- yet?"

Tuesday, I step back and realize a few things:

1) There are other jobs.

2) It is okay to fail at getting a job. Falling on your face hurts, but it goes away after a little while.

3) In fact, I am proud of being able to share this with the people I love. It makes me incredibly human, real, and not perfect (thank God- too much pressure and so much distance from those around you).

4) That I have an amazing support network. My friends were fabulous the whole way through, especially when I didn't get the dream job. When I sent an email out to the pals who had been apart of my process, I got great phone messages, I got funny and touching email responses, I had invitations to the gym, for a drink, or shopping , I was taken out to lunch and to an afternoon movie . I have to say the best reminder came from LLC when we were running and I told her I was afraid of telling everyone I didn't get the job she said: "It is just a great chance for us to be able to support you." What a nice thing to say and the best thing to think about in a situation like this.

The Apostle Islands: Lake Superior's Carribean

The Apostle Islands: Lake Superior's Carribean

I have been waiting to write this post all week since we returned from the Apostle Islands in Lake Superior, thinking that somehow I would have a good description of how amazing it is when I sat down to write. I still can quite fit it all into words, or pictures for that matter, but should talk about what a great trip it was.

We caravaned up with S and L on Thursday night up north. After the boys had to stop at Hardees after dinner, and we avoided about 900 (live) deer on the road in Northern Wisconsin, we made it safely to the campground outside of Bayfield for the night. (That is once we got our tent site settled...)

On Friday morning, we woke up early to go get our permit and attend our "basic safety course". It was pretty cool on Friday with not much sun, and as we are sitting outside for our lesson of "concentric circles of safety", "the lake is fickle", and "always have the means to make a hot beverage" I was experiencing the beginning stages of hypothermia. Then, as we are about ready to get in the water to practice strokes, wet exits, and self-rescues, our instructor tells us that due to terrible wind storms two days earlier, all the 'warm' water had been pushed out of the bay, and that the average water temperature was around 40 degrees. I was freaked out and had already completed this course five years before...

The wet exits were, well... cold. So cold, it was hard to think or really to move. And that was with wet suits on. I ended up coming out of my wet exit so fast that I hit my head on the bottom of the boat and had a bump on my head that felt literally like I was a cartoon character where the bump just grows higher and higher. In the end we all passed the basic safety course with flying colors and a new appreciation for how quickly hypothermia can occur in Lake Superior.

After a good lunch, we pushed off in our tandem kayaks (also called divorce boats by the instructor) and paddled about 14 miles to our campsite for the night on Oak Island. Luckily the wind was at our backs and it didn't start to rain until we made it to camp. The beach was beautiful and later on that night L and I did some quality rock exploring/collecting. L made us amazing individual pizzas for dinner that were delicious and after dinner I cooked up some rocks to warm up with. Jff and S were on wood duty and seemed to have a fab time dragging up downed trees for us to burn. The big thunderstorm didn't start until we had crawled into our tents for the night.

The next morning I woke at 5:30 am to hear the loudest waves and wind I have ever heard while camping. I was convinced our kayaks had been taken away into Lake Superior, but they remained safely on the beach when Jff and I got up for an early morning stroll and glance at the beach. We promptly went back to bed for 2 and a half more hours. It was a slow morning waiting for the wind to die down and for blue sky to emerge. It was close to 11 when we pushed off for Raspberry Island, where we hiked to the light house, had lunch and toured the newly renovated lighthouse. Ranger Jim was a bit of a zealot on our tour- we examined, in depth the life of a lighthouse keeper, his various duties, the house, the times, and everything else. The exclamations of "tulips to turnups", "the room would transform again," and "service: faithful" were a bit much, and S wanted his money back after we were never told why it wasn't named Cranberry Island instead of Raspberry, but either way the view was really worth it.

The paddle directly into the 15 mile an hour winds to York Island was not my favorite- the only time the divorce boat rang true to its name on the trip- but soon we got to a beautiful campsite on the sandy Island. Literally a bay that looked like it was in the Carribean, clear waters, blue green tint, white sand, and full sun. We took a quick chance to swim (or really dash in and out of the water) and hang out in the sun. When weather threatened we nestled our tents together on the tent pad and later went for a hike across the island.

On Sunday we woke up to finally the perfect day: windless and sunny. A perfect day to see the sea caves on Sand Island. The four mile paddle went quickly, and the caves were beautiful. S and L paddled really deeply into a couple and all the while we were taking pictures and exploring. The caves are really, really cool no matter how many times you see them. Again the water is like green jewels that you can see 20 feet down in.

After eating our lunch on Sand, we paddled to the mainland, and the campground that we had originally stayed at on Thursday night. We essentially completed a tour of the islands splayed around the mainland pennisula over three days.

The trip was in many ways too short, there was a lighthouse on Sand Island I know L and I would have liked to hike to, there were other islands, mainland sea caves and nicer weather to be had... A trip for another time, I suppose. We had a great time with our traveling companions, however, lots of laughs, and a sense of shared adventure.

Double Standards and Public Scrutiny

I normally leave the political rants and policy arguments to husband's fabulous blog, but I can't help but cheer for the following editorial in Wednesday's (7/18/07) Star Tribune,

"While I agree that excessive focus on politicians' personal lives makes hypocrites of us all, I also don't believe in unilateral disarmament. Here is a potential deal: When politicians like Sen. David Vitter stop trying to take away my civil rights and cease their attempts to enact laws that effectively make me and other gays and lesbians second-class citizens, then I'll demand that no one investigate their personal lives. Sound Fair?"

I can't stand the double standards that politicians and some religious officials have surrounding the private lives of Americans. I find the most outrageous offenders are magnificently members of the religious right. They blather about morality, they rant about family values, they talk about 'sinners' and God's way, and then they are found out to have been engaging in extra-marital affairs, gay sex, drug use, or money embezzlement. Oops, got caught with your hand in the cookie jar/pants down? Does that mean you are going to hell? Does that mean you shouldn't have the right to be legally married?

I think they should be shamed out of public office or religious post, and should have to apologize to the American people, not just quietly to their own party or church behind closed doors. No excuses- tell us why you think the rules you make don't apply to you? Better yet, tell us why you think you can continue to represent the American people in our most important public institution Senator Vitter?

The One Year Mark

Phew! We made it. One year and two days of marriage. As we laid in bed last night, we were making a list of the best parts of no longer being in the 'first year of marriage'. Now, don't get me wrong, we had an amazing, wonderful year together, but there is something about getting the "first" out of the way. Here were some of our bests:

• We are no longer perpetually labeled with terms like "newlyweds", "honeymoon stage", and "lovebirds".
  

• When people ask how long we have been married, we can talk in years rather than in months.

• We are done with our 'paper anniversary'. (Husband claimed that we represented this year with many credit card slips from our various adventures in the last week.)
  

• The questions "How was the wedding? How was the honeymoon?" are no longer asked with expectations of elaborate descriptions and great enthusiasm.
  

• All the "first" holidays are out of the way.

• We have a good list of "Quotes never to leave the marriage bed" (as husband calls them) and other collections of good laughable moments from our first 12 months together.

• I am finally good at saying "My husband" when introducing Jff.

• I finally can say my new name automatically without thinking it to myself first.
  

• No more name confusion, name change forms, and other obnoxious paperwork. ("well, I am not sure whether I am listed under my maiden name, or my married name... here, let me spell it for you. No.. that is the name it should be listed under, just with out the e.")
  

• The year "grace period" for wedding gifts is done, the statute of limitations is now over- non-givers are clearly not giving (what poor etiquette, I am still shocked)- and the thank-you cards can officially be tossed.
  

• Wedding paraphernalia can be passed on- I don't care about the frosted vases I was so excited about, get them out of my basement- who is next?

• It is fun to celebrate wedding anniversaries. Our first will be hard to beat, but we have lots of time to try.

• And by far the best "best": we start immediately on year number two!

Thanks to all friends and family who wished us well this last weekend. It was touching to know that so many people marked it as a time of celebration for us.

Highlights/ drivel of the Week

It must be pretty apparent from my blog, that things are slowing down around here- just the tiniest bit. I post often, and about fairly trivial things. I think that blogging itself is entertainment for me lately, so I apologize for the drivel.

Here is my week in review, (it was a good one):

Monday was a fun day. I biked up the Y, did the class Bodyflow that I really like (a combo of Tai Chi, Pilattes, and Yoga), biked up the library at the U to find a book, and then biked over to husbands work for lunch with him. On my way home, I ran errands from my bike: Public Library, the Bank, and the local hardware store. LLC called for last minute running plans -our river runs are always fun, especially since we waited for the sun to go down.

Tuesday was haircut day. It is a really good one this time. I almost want to call my stylist and tell her to write it all down. Same exact thing next time please. I heard from several good friends this week and got to talk to a few of them on Tuesday. Pick up Frisbee was a great end to the day.

Wednesday big, scary interview went very well. While I was on campus, I got to see two of my favorite former students, and a parent of a former student who announced to the entire human resources office that I was an amazing teacher (no I didn't pay her to do that, but it seemed like it). Lunch with father-in-law post interview at a delicious place made everything great. I returned home to pack for exciting weekend.

Today has been the details of the trip. Oops all of our gear is locked in the car that I am supposed to pick husband up in, and husband has the only key at work. New plan. Laundry on the line, drying wonderfully fast because of the beautiful sunny, breezing day. I am really excited for our adventure into the Apostle Islands with friends, LH and SH. Although I could do without practicing wet exits in 50 degree water, I can't wait for the amazing scenery, time on my favorite lake, and to be outside for a couple of days. Also ready for our anniversary at the Bed and Breakfast outside of town on Sunday night. Here I come, solar powered jacuzzi and time in Northern WI.

Loving Places, Loving People

A year ago this coming Sunday, Jff and I got married. My favorite part of the entire day was the ceremony because it was something we had really made completely our own. We wrote the vows, chose the readings, decided the order of the ceremony, chose the music (and our beautiful singer, LLC) and John's aunt was our pastor. The following reading was, for me, the most meaningful part of what we had in the ceremony:

Loving Places, Loving People

Kathleen Dean Moore, The Pine Island Paradox

I stretched my back and started two lists. What does it mean to love a person? What does it mean to love a place? Before long, I had discovered I had made two copies of the same list. To love- a person and a place-means at least this:
One. To want to be near it, physically.
Number Two. To want to know everything about it- its story, its moods, what it looks like by moonlight.
Number Three. To rejoice in the fact of it.
Number Four. To fear its loss, and grieve for its injuries.
Five. To protect it- fiercely, mindlessly, futilely, and maybe tragically, but to be helpless to do otherwise.
Six. To be transformed in its presence- lifted, lighter on your feet, transparent, open to everything beautiful and new.
Number seven. To wan to be joined with it, taken in by it, lost in it.
Number eight, To want the best for it.
Number nine, Desperately.

Love is an anchor line, a rope on a pulley, a taut fly line, a spruce root, a route on a map, a father teaching his daughter to tie a bowline knot, eelgrass bent to the tide, and all of these- a complicated, changing web of relationships, taken together. It is not a choice, or a dream, or a romantic novel. It's a fact: an empirical fact about our biological existance. We are born into relationships with people and with places. We are born with the ability to create new relationships and tend to them. And we are born with a powerful longing for these relations. That complex connectedness nourishes and shapes us and gives us joy and purpose.

I knew there was something important missing from my list, but I was struggling to put it into words. Loving isn't just a state of being, it's a way of acting in the world. Loving isn't a sort of bliss, it's a kind of work, sometimes hard, spirit-testing work. To love a person is to accept the responsibility to act lovingly toward him, to make his needs my own needs. To love a place is to care for it, to keep it healthy, to attend to its needs as if they were my own, because they are my own. Responsibility grows from love. It is the natural shape of caring.

Number ten, I wrote in my notebook. To love a person or a place is to accept moral responsibility for its well-being.

Frisbee Rules

It is amazing how when you become so accustomed to something or a certain culture, you stop noticing the things that make it unique. Last night since our normal frisbee league had a night off, we played some pick up with about 20 other people. As we were leaving, we started to talk about the unspoken rules that abound, but never fail with ultimate frisbee around here:

• Pick up games never start on time. In fact, mostly likely the actual scrimmaging will begin some time 45 minutes to an hour after the meeting time.

• Prior to actual scrimmage there is a lot of the following going on: talking about other frisbee games, throwing the disc around, bandaging up and braces for bad ankles and knees, and the putting on of socks. Which leads to the next rule:

• One never arrives in shoes other than sandals- even in cool weather, this remains protocol.

• Any sort of pick up requires both a light and a dark shirt. Most everyone has them and shirts are regularly changed with reckless abandon on the side lines, with many shirts being borrowed and exchanged for the sake of "gender match ups" and even numbers on each team.

• Once on the "line" names are shared with many comments of: "I think we've played together" or "Do you normally play at the Lake pick up? You look familiar". Once you are defending someone, you normally introduce yourself quickly between points. Don't be fooled- this is a very active social network where most people at least know of most other people who regularly play-especially if they are good.
  

• No matter which "team" you are on, when you make a good play- it is called out from all directions- from opponents, from teammates, and from those on the sidelines.
  

• frisbee jargon abounds while the disc is flying around: words like pick, callahan, line for one, force, zone, fire!, no breaks! and others make it seem like you need a "frisbee for dummies" to translate.
  

• Finally, once the scrimmage has been going on with no scoring for a least an hour, maybe more, there is an inevitable call for "hey guys, game to seven?" just about the time you are thinking you should be getting home.

As much as I can roll my eyes at many of these "rules", the truth is, it is comforting to take part in the ritual of it all. You may not know all the players all the time, but you always know the way you play the game.

The Invader is Growing!

It is unfortunate I have to show you this, but I do. One Penis Shroom is out of control, while the other one is dying off. mk suggested the possible presence of Smurfs, but I don't think so. If this were their house, they would have to take the elevator up the very skinny shaft...

Okay, I will stop. I just wonder if it is edible. Any specialists out there that could tell me how poisonous this one is? Better yet, why it is growing in my Shamrock plant?

Can I BottleThis?

Another fabulous summer weekend. Sometimes I forget how great it is to get out of town- at first it can seem like so much work. We were up at the family cabin north of my hometown and we celebrated our first wedding anniversary (a week early) with my dad and step-mom who had their 24th wedding anniversary this weekend.

It was a really fun weekend. On the way up there was almost no traffic and we listened to the baseball game all the way up, it was almost a perfect ride except for the former student who recognized me and flipped me off. Guess he can't let go of the fact that I caught him cheating five years ago... Oh well, did I mention I am leaving the teaching profession?

When we stopped for a walk along the lake walk as the sun was setting. The big Lake was like glass- really a perfect night. On the way to the cabin we also stopped to visit friend MK-and Jff helped her inaugurate her new Mac with a screen bigger than the size of our television. That woman is a character and I always like to get a chance to experience her humor first hand as often as possible.

We got to the cabin first and it was pitch black. The stars were absolutely amazing-the entire Milky Way was clear. So we headed down to the dock with a blanket to watch the stars. It is a shame that I only get to do that a couple of times a summer, anymore.

Saturday, hotter than hot, we had a great time on the boat with my parents. Jumping in and swimming, playing with the new depth finder, and drinking my favorite drinks on the boat (Summer Shandy).

In the end, we had steak and shrimp for dinner to celebrate. After dinner we played horse shoes and hung out on the deck.

Yesterday before we left, we managed to fit in a paddle where we saw a family of loons- the mom carrying the two babies on her back. We also went out for another boat ride with the rents.

Overall, it was one of those perfect summer weekends that make you wish you could store up just a few drops of that really warm sun, the beautiful smell of the pine trees mixed with lake water and dirt, and put in a bottle to open in the middle of February when you, at times, wonder if you will ever make it through the winter without going crazy.

Although it is only the middle of July, don't forget to find that feeling of summer before it all ends for another season.

Kloumr Botanicals

"Hey, no fair, there's genitalia in my plant."

I am proud, yet at the same time saddened, to admit this phrase just came out of my mouth. We returned from a weekend away to find a plant I have been nursing back to health (after the stressful month of May where there was a woeful lack of watering happening in this house) with a few bright yellow, phallic-like growths in my shamrock plant.




"Oh, great. Who put the yellow penises in the shamrock plant? Leo? Nora?"

Possible caption to the photo (from husband):
When un-erect they are an unimpressive 2mm in size, but when watered vigorously, the penis 'shrooms can and will grow to astounding heights....Kids, don't try this at home.

What do you do all day long?

I am currently enjoying what could be my last summer "off" as I make a career transition. Every summer people who have never had summers off ask me what I do all day long. I have been thinking about this a lot lately, especially as it is most likely coming to an end. What do I do all day long? How does the summer go so fast?

So for those interested, read on, this is how I occupy myself:

- I work in the yard, A LOT. I weed, I mow, I mulch, I stake, I harvest, I water. Currently working on: Operation Grassy Knoll (not an assassination attempt, rather getting grass seed to grow in a newly landscaped area.)

- I read. This summer I am actually a full time grad student. But I also read the paper, journal articles related to my career field, books for fun, husband's blog (for those of you who do also, you know: this can be time consuming) and many other things during the day.

-I exercise. Yoga, walks around the lake, walks to the store or post office, trips to the Y (this part of the program is lagging behind currently). I also get ready to exercise- meaning I get our frisbee gear together, I prepare for softball, etc. This doesn't include clean up like laundry either.

-I work on the computer, A LOT. In past summers I have consulted for a school district and grant, most recently it has been a lot of grad school paper work and communication about my upcoming thesis and research. I am shocked at how much I am in front of the computer (like right now).

-I meet friends and family for lunch. Husband is a big fan of this, speaking of which... I also get a chance to visit friends who also teach, who have babies, etc.

-I plan and organize trips. Camping trips, trips to the cabin, road trips, trips to the Apostle Islands (Yippee, next week!) and trips to the BWCA (with the help of co-conspirators).

-I organize and do house projects that have gotten lost in the shuffle of the last school year. Currently working on: I just painted the inside and outside of both the front and back door. They really needed it. I also working on cleaning out the basement and re-potting most indoor plants.

-I run thousands of errands: Currently: New linen suit for interview, cat food, cancel checking account, buy glasses to replace ones husband has chipped, you get the idea, see also below.

-I am husband's personal secretary when needed: clean hideous Birkenstocks so they can return to public places, take obnoxious tag out of shirt, go to bank, bring book to post office. (This is consequently my most favorite part of being off right now, I love doing for him all the things he does/did for me while I was a frantic teacher/grad student this last year.)

-I relax: I sit in my crazy creek chair out in front of the house, play with kitties, once in a while take a nap, talk on the phone, watch old movies, and just do what ever I want to.

So there you have it. I do a lot, but it is not hard. I LOVE summer, but mostly I love the part about summer that allows me to see friends, be outside, and enjoy the beautiful earth we live on. I won't mind giving this up for a job that means my normal life will include more of the above and less constant school work while I am home. I am ready for it.

Happy summer.

Growth and Movement Milestones

I remember going to the doctor as a child with terrible pain in my legs. The doctor had me move my feet for him, stand and walk, and then asked me a bunch of questions. At the end of it, he told my mother and I that I would always have to do a lot of stretching because of my propensity to build muscle so quickly. Essentially my legs hurt because I was so muscle bound, and that muscle would not loosen on its own.

I learned early on that I didn't have a body that was likely ever to be able to fit into "slim fit" jeans of any sort (not when you have quads like tree trunks), do the splits, or have shoulders that look nice and slim in anything strapless (just take a gander at the wedding pictures- you will see it).

It should not have come as a surprise then, while in college that I was having horrible lower back pain. Again only to find out, that what originally seems like a good problem to have (yeah, if I wanted to be a body builder) was really a huge detriment. I spent a summer going to physical therapy, using a therapy ball to increase my stomach muscles to counteract my over-muscled back, and laying on tables and desks to do funny stretches to "release" my hips and lower back (I just tried to find a picture of this stretch online and failed, but it is worth a laugh, I'll keep looking).

Anyways, I was always being reminded I needed to work on flexibility and decrease tension held in my muscles. So, my first year out of college while living in a new city, I started doing Tai Chi (Chuan), a soft style martial art that is focused on health and relaxation. I really liked it while I was learning, although it took me a while to learn the routines. I sadly never kept up with it when I moved, because I could never find a studio that was close to my house.

So where I am I going with this really boring and meandering blog post about my muscles? Well, it is just to say that after lots of stops and starts with different stretching routines, ball exercises, yoga, and martial arts, that I have finally stuck to something for longer than 6 months. I have been going to Yoga class 1-2 times a week since January and I feel fantastic.

The reason I am posting about it now, is that for the first time yesterday in yoga class, I was able to make my legs flexible enough to be able to get my heels down to the ground while I was doing Downward Facing Dog! I knew that along the way I had been getting more flexible, I was increasing my balance, was more able to control my breathing, and was learning a lot about how to work into poses with a combination of letting go and pushing muscles, but when my heels hit the mat yesterday, it was a real indication of growth and increased movement. Everything else I had been thinking up until now seemed so subjective (am I really more flexible? less accident prone?) so it was nice to really see and feel! my progress. Yippee! or really Namaste!